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NOBODY is admitting that the awful weather that everyone seemed to want but is turning out to be a huge pain in the arse is the perfect metaphor for Brexit, it has been confirmed.


Published: 31st July 2018 - 5.58 pm
Source: The Daily Mash




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Stan Lee takes up permanent cameo in a billion grateful imaginations
12th November 2018 - 9.16 pm
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Jeremy Corbyn criticised for attending Remembrance Day service in his pyjamas
12th November 2018 - 12.51 pm
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We didn't like British Airways anyway, insist Brexiters
12th November 2018 - 11.47 am
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Ten more Johnson brothers to resign from government this week
12th November 2018 - 9.53 am
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Jeremy Corbyn beats level 653 on Candy Crush during Brexit briefing
12th November 2018 - 9.30 am
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9th November 2018 - 4.12 pm
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Theresa May hit by colossal metaphor as she is involved in car crash in Belgium
9th November 2018 - 3.21 pm
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Knife crime immediately disappears after Sajid Javid tells police to step up
9th November 2018 - 1.58 pm
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9th November 2018 - 12.02 pm
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NewsThump to release Christmas TV advert
9th November 2018 - 10.35 am
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White shooter was "Lonely, misunderstood, mentally ill and such and such"
9th November 2018 - 10.13 am
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Cash refusing to be touched by Tommy Robinson
9th November 2018 - 9.47 am
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Hopes remain high that White House intern will walk again after brutal Jim Acosta attack
9th November 2018 - 8.14 am
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Anti-Brexit WWII veteran stunned to discover he is actually a member of the metropolitan liberal elite
8th November 2018 - 12.32 pm
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"I thought food and medicine appeared because of food and medicine fairies" admits Dominic Raab
8th November 2018 - 12.16 pm
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Prince Charles promises that as King he will only talk about homeopathy to his plants
8th November 2018 - 11.52 am
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Latest Article

  


Articles

NOBODY is admitting that the awful weather that everyone seemed to want but is turning out to be a huge pain in the arse is the perfect metaphor for Brexit, it has been confirmed.


Published:
Source: The Daily Mash




The Daily Mash
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The Brexiter’s guide to what’s British
18th November 2018 - 10.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Man confuses young people by saying he ‘taped’ a TV show
18th November 2018 - 9.40 am
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Group of women dancing in club spot man sashaying towards them
18th November 2018 - 9.30 am
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Everyone on stag do wants to go to bed
17th November 2018 - 10.20 am
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We’d still vote Brexit, say people who pay little or no attention to the news
17th November 2018 - 10.20 am
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40-something asks GP to test for whether he’s still relevant
16th November 2018 - 12.20 pm
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Smug couple hobbies that will make people hate you even more
16th November 2018 - 11.30 am
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Builder who buggered up kitchen determined to ‘see it through’
16th November 2018 - 11.00 am
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Could you be the next useless Brexit secretary?
16th November 2018 - 10.20 am
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Dad determined to burn things that could just go in the rubbish
16th November 2018 - 9.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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How to blame other people for f**king up at work
16th November 2018 - 8.50 am
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Nice couple sound like murderers when discussing their inheritance
15th November 2018 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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The mum’s guide to pretending your child is not a total little bastard
15th November 2018 - 11.10 am
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I f**king love it, says Rees-Mogg
15th November 2018 - 10.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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Man still thinks he’s slim
15th November 2018 - 9.30 am
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Dominic Raab to petrol bomb your house then petrol bomb the fire brigade
15th November 2018 - 9.30 am
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How to be a nutter at your child’s football match
15th November 2018 - 8.50 am
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Northern Ireland re-named ‘West Belgium’ in Brexit deal
14th November 2018 - 11.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Shit finally completes 29-month journey towards fan
14th November 2018 - 10.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Having children in late thirties linked to enjoying more of your thirties
14th November 2018 - 10.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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What does your choice of disgusting herbal tea say about you?
14th November 2018 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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High roller has £102.40 in Nectar Points
14th November 2018 - 9.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Sadomasochistic train company asks ‘how did we do?’
14th November 2018 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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A ‘freakshake’ is not Rees-Mogg being tasered, stress health campaigners
13th November 2018 - 2.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Also, you shouldn’t have a milkshake with a cake in it because it doesn’t work, say experts
13th November 2018 - 11.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Idiot claims he can’t spot ‘fake news’ that’s obviously fake
13th November 2018 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
A Brexit deal is tantalisingly close as long as the EU completely reverses its position overnight, by Theresa May
13th November 2018 - 11.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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What does your car say about whether you believe your car is your personality?
13th November 2018 - 9.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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‘What vegans want is more pretend blood in their food’
13th November 2018 - 9.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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Neo-Nazi starting to think career opportunities may be a bit limited
13th November 2018 - 9.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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Battery farm chicken can’t believe it downsized this much to live in London
12th November 2018 - 11.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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All men are twats, says woman exclusively attracted to twats
12th November 2018 - 11.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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Do you have a lot of guilty pleasures, or is your taste in everything shit?
12th November 2018 - 11.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Don’t stay together on our account, Britain tells Tories
12th November 2018 - 10.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Is your partner a pain in the arse to sleep with?
12th November 2018 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Contactless payment leaves bus drivers searching for new ways to be arseholes
12th November 2018 - 9.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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Man believes ‘let’s not get each other presents’ means he doesn’t have to get his girlfriend a present
11th November 2018 - 8.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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‘Holding up a fish’ is sexiest thing ever, confirm women
11th November 2018 - 8.20 am
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Are you reading a proper book?
10th November 2018 - 8.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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Couple on lunchtime date hammered and ready for sex by 4pm
10th November 2018 - 8.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Son close to murdering mum and dad with six remotes and no idea what they do
9th November 2018 - 12.20 pm
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How to blame your parents for f**king you up
9th November 2018 - 11.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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Man at ‘empire building’ stage of life barely holding down shitty job in office
9th November 2018 - 11.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Dominic Raab’s bloody obvious guide to the British Isles
9th November 2018 - 10.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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Owning a speedboat in Britain ‘is shit’
9th November 2018 - 9.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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Five guilt-free holiday destinations for annoying middle class people to show off about
9th November 2018 - 8.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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Mummy blogger struggling to drink wine and swear at her kids every day
8th November 2018 - 12.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
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Woman unable to write friendly email without shitload of exclamation marks
8th November 2018 - 11.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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Middle-class man levels up with own sourdough starter
8th November 2018 - 10.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
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Trump to evade arrest by firing anyone who comes within ten feet
8th November 2018 - 10.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Onion
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‘The Powerpuff Girls’ Turns 20
16th November 2018 - 9.27 pm
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Should Carmelo Anthony Return To His Prime?
16th November 2018 - 9.19 pm
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Metropolitan Museum Acquires Another Vase
16th November 2018 - 8.29 pm
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Hate Crimes Continue To Rise
16th November 2018 - 8.01 pm
Source: The Onion
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‘Becoming A Mother Has Been The Most Thrilling Experience Of My Life,’ Reports Woman Fleeing Hospital With Stolen Baby
16th November 2018 - 7.30 pm
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Speakeasy Patrons Apparently Unaware It Legal To Go To Regular Bars Again
16th November 2018 - 6.36 pm
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Archaeologists Apologize For Murdering Last Remaining Neanderthal In Fit Of Crazed Bloodlust
16th November 2018 - 6.31 pm
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Embarrassed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Can Only Afford American Flag Pin With 19 Stars
16th November 2018 - 5.24 pm
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Supercuts Now Offering To Give Customers Baths For $14.99
16th November 2018 - 5.02 pm
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Khashoggi Assassin Hopes Bonus Check From Saudi Crown Prince Clears Before Execution
16th November 2018 - 4.56 pm
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Unhinged Lunatic Using Facebook To Spread Conspiracy Theories
16th November 2018 - 4.22 pm
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China Introduces New One-Uighur Policy
15th November 2018 - 10.10 pm
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5 Things To Know About Matthew Whitaker
15th November 2018 - 9.52 pm
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George R.R. Martin Admits He Struggling With New Book
15th November 2018 - 9.47 pm
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Mother Feels A Little Validated After Daughter Who Stayed Out Late Gets Murdered
15th November 2018 - 8.59 pm
Source: The Onion
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Facebook Just Filled With Crazy Idiots Now
15th November 2018 - 8.08 pm
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Saudi Crown Prince Begins 100 Hours Of Court-Ordered Community Service For Murdering Jamal Khashoggi
15th November 2018 - 7.42 pm
Source: The Onion
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Report: Underfunded Public Schools Lacking Basic Support Systems Leave Students Perfectly Prepared For Rest Of Life
15th November 2018 - 6.55 pm
Source: The Onion
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Wealth-Burdened Nation Grateful For Opportunity to Spend Money At New Onion Store
15th November 2018 - 6.46 pm
Source: The Onion
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Wildfires More Frequent Because Of Climate Change, Forest Management
15th November 2018 - 6.22 pm
Source: The Onion
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Boyfriend’s Snack 200% Of Woman’s Daily Caloric Intake
15th November 2018 - 5.55 pm
Source: The Onion
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Disgusting Coworker Barely Even Washed Ass Before Leaving Bathroom
15th November 2018 - 5.43 pm
Source: The Onion
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Widow Still Can’t Bring Herself To Get Rid Of Husband’s Corpse
15th November 2018 - 5.16 pm
Source: The Onion
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Recently Divorced 40-Year-Old Struggling To Navigate College Dating Scene
14th November 2018 - 9.54 pm
Source: The Onion
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Amazon Officially Picks New York, Northern Virginia For Next Headquarters
14th November 2018 - 9.20 pm
Source: The Onion
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Melania Releases Statement Calling For Removal Of First Lady From White House
14th November 2018 - 8.54 pm
Source: The Onion
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Nancy Pelosi Planning To Reenergize House By Injecting Self With Blood Of Young Representatives
14th November 2018 - 7.00 pm
Source: The Onion
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Nation’s Tourists Announce Plans To Form Circle, Clap Hands Around Guys Doing Flips And Stuff
14th November 2018 - 5.57 pm
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Female Director Asked If She Feels Comfortable Filming Scene While Nude
14th November 2018 - 5.48 pm
Source: The Onion
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Pfizer Unveils New Double-Sided EpiPen For Lovers
14th November 2018 - 5.40 pm
Source: The Onion
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Naked Man Refusing To Let Unworthy Attire Touch His Body Until Launch Of New Onion Store Merchandise
14th November 2018 - 5.03 pm
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14th November 2018 - 4.31 pm
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14th November 2018 - 3.39 pm
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Report: Nation Getting Out All Their Aggression During Monthly Calls To Wireless Provider To Fix Service
14th November 2018 - 3.31 pm
Source: The Onion
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North Korea Possibly Still Operating Hidden Missiles Bases
14th November 2018 - 3.02 pm
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New ‘Game Of Thrones’ Trailer Reveals Final Season Will Be Cobbled Together From Old Footage
13th November 2018 - 10.02 pm
Source: The Onion
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NRA Publishes Tips For Staying Safe While Committing A Mass Shooting
13th November 2018 - 8.55 pm
Source: The Onion
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New York City Announces Subway Just For Amazon Employees Now
13th November 2018 - 8.44 pm
Source: The Onion
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Steve King Vehemently Denies Comparing Immigrants To People
13th November 2018 - 8.12 pm
Source: The Onion
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Poll Finds Voters Don’t Support Impeaching Trump
13th November 2018 - 8.03 pm
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Hillary Launches Campaign To Raise $100 Million Or Else She’ll Run For President
13th November 2018 - 7.53 pm
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Surgeon General Confirms A Bit Of Blow Here And There Won’t Kill Ya
13th November 2018 - 6.01 pm
Source: The Onion
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Trump Delivers Touching Tribute To Fallen Heroes Of WWE
13th November 2018 - 5.37 pm
Source: The Onion
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5 Things To Know About ‘Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald’
13th November 2018 - 4.59 pm
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‘He’s Not Right For You,’ Report Relationship Experts Who Must Not Want To See You Be Happy
13th November 2018 - 4.52 pm
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Political Ad Spending Hit New Record In 2018 Midterms
13th November 2018 - 4.32 pm
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45-Year-Old Loser Moves In With Parents
13th November 2018 - 3.46 pm
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13th November 2018 - 2.00 pm
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3 More States Vote To Legalize Marijuana
12th November 2018 - 11.37 pm
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Woman Confident She Has The Safety Net It Takes To Achieve Dreams
12th November 2018 - 11.18 pm
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5 Trump Properties He Doesn't Like To Talk About
18th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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5 Hilariously Clever Ways Game Devs Made Their Games Work
17th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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Reminder: November 17 is Danny DeVito Day
16th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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5 Surprising Reasons Actors Turned Down Major Movie Roles
16th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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PBR, Everyone’s Favorite Awful Beer, May Be On Its Deathbed
16th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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16th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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16th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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This Crazy Dark 'Star Wars' Theory is Kind of Great
15th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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5 Archaeological Finds That Prove the Past Was Dumb AF
15th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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15th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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Archaeologists Just Found A Bunch Of Mummified Cats
14th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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The Worst Version of 'Monopoly' Has Just Come Out
14th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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6 People Who Broke (Stupid) Laws In The Best Way Possible
14th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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14th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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The New 'Toy Story' Character is Freaking Out the Internet
13th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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5 Pieces Of Movie Merchandise That Missed The Point Entirely
13th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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5 Stupid Flight Delays That'll Fill You With Secondhand Rage
13th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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12th November 2018 - 2.12 pm
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5 Truly Outrageous Conspiracies Promoted By Celebrities
12th November 2018 - 2.12 pm
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There's A New Twist To The Latest Quentin Tarantino Drama
12th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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The Most Popular Marvel TV Show Isn’t What You Think
12th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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5 Bizarre Conspiracy Theories Around Recent News Events
11th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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4 Health Problems You Had No Clue Were Contagious
10th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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4 Fun Everyday Activities (That Will Secretly Destroy You)
9th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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9th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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All The Ways Real Life Never Lives Up To Your Expectations
9th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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Well Everybody, There's A 'Breaking Bad' Movie Coming
8th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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8th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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8th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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8th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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8th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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That Comet Isn't An Alien Probe, Sorry Everybody
7th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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5 Real Action Movies That Have The Craziest Plots Ever
7th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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5 Amazingly Bad Movie Ad Campaigns
7th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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The 5 Dumbest Lies Ever Told By US Presidents (Before Trump)
6th November 2018 - 2.11 pm
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4 Classic Villains Everybody Gets Wrong
6th November 2018 - 2.11 pm
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'Fantastic Beasts 2' May Screw Up The Harry Potter Timeline
6th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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5 Horrors Of Climate Change (Normal People Don't Know About)
5th November 2018 - 2.14 pm
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5 Terrorist Plots That Were Done For Stupid Dumb Reasons
5th November 2018 - 2.14 pm
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Blizzard Unveils New 'Diablo' Game, And Fans Are Mad As Heck
5th November 2018 - 2.11 pm
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So, Um, Real-Life Satanists Are Angry at Netflix's 'Sabrina'
5th November 2018 - 2.11 pm
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Vote Like The Fate Of The World Depends On It
4th November 2018 - 2.14 pm
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5 Rock Stars Who Tried Acting (And Failed Hard)
3rd November 2018 - 1.15 pm
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The Spoilers For Game Of Thrones' Last Season Sound Epic
2nd November 2018 - 1.15 pm
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We're Getting A 'Gladiator' Sequel, But Not The One We Need
2nd November 2018 - 1.15 pm
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5 Celebrity Benders More Epic Than Most Movies
2nd November 2018 - 1.14 pm
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Here's Why Spinoff TV Shows Are Formulaic Garbage
2nd November 2018 - 1.14 pm
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4 Sexual Behaviors That Have Become Oddly Common in Public
2nd November 2018 - 1.14 pm
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4 Easter Eggs In Superhero Movie Posters You Totally Missed
1st November 2018 - 1.04 pm
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5 Things You Learn About TV (By Trying To Sell A Show)
1st November 2018 - 1.04 pm
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News Thump
Humour
Some bloke called Steve named Brexit Secretary for a bit
16th November 2018 - 6.51 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
New Brexit Secretary inaugurated with traditional goblet of bubbling turds
16th November 2018 - 6.39 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Dominic Raab insists he's NOT a rogue sex robot for Tory women of a certain age
16th November 2018 - 4.18 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Pudsey declared fit for work by DWP as he can still use his other eye
16th November 2018 - 3.29 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
New Indiana Jones film to feature search for a workable Brexit deal
16th November 2018 - 12.50 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Nation pisses itself laughing after David Davis claims an FTA with the EU would take 3 months
16th November 2018 - 10.36 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Theresa May's cabinet downgraded to a 'chest of drawers'
16th November 2018 - 9.54 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Brexit Withdrawal Agreement Is Brilliant' to be printed on side of bus to secure support amongst idiots
16th November 2018 - 9.03 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Aim of Brexit referendum to unite Conservative Party now fully achieved, confirms David Cameron
15th November 2018 - 4.10 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
"Coup is the wrong word" says shotgun-wielding Jacob Rees-Mogg
15th November 2018 - 4.01 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Government wouldn’t be in this mess if Boris Johnson’s dad had stuck to his Withdrawal Agreement
15th November 2018 - 3.34 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Baldrick named as new Brexit Secretary
15th November 2018 - 2.50 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Concerned nation joins hunt for missing Boris Johnson
15th November 2018 - 2.29 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Environmentalists criticise government for employing single-use Brexit Secretaries
15th November 2018 - 12.46 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Everyone has very strong opinions about 500-page Brexit deal that no one has read
15th November 2018 - 12.40 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
John Lewis releases Elton John doll in time for Christmas
15th November 2018 - 12.30 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Daily Mail criticises BBC for undermining Christian values as Dr Who special moved to New Year
15th November 2018 - 11.51 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Esther McVey 'now subject to benefit sanctions' after voluntarily resigning from her job
15th November 2018 - 10.35 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Dominic Raab resigns after admitting that Theresa May has 'failed' in the job he was supposed to be doing
15th November 2018 - 9.27 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'But we were pwomithed a pony' shout tedious whiny f*cking Brexiters
15th November 2018 - 8.58 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Theresa May successfully delivers Brexit deal that disappoints absolutely everyone
14th November 2018 - 9.03 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
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Cabinet ministers urged to keep their resignation letters nice and short
14th November 2018 - 4.51 pm
Source: News Thump
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"No deal is better than a bad deal but please agree to this bad deal so we can have a deal" pleads May
14th November 2018 - 3.53 pm
Source: News Thump
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Parliament to be given vote between May's terrible Brexit deal and catastrophe of no deal
14th November 2018 - 12.06 pm
Source: News Thump
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Employee who misread lotto numbers frantically cleaning his own shit from manager's desk
14th November 2018 - 11.23 am
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“Come on then, fuckers!” roars drunken Theresa May at Brexit cabinet meeting
14th November 2018 - 10.47 am
Source: News Thump
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Esther McVey and Andrea Leadsom awake to find horse heads in their beds
14th November 2018 - 9.27 am
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"I refuse to be drenched in anything other than hooker piss" confirms Trump
13th November 2018 - 4.42 pm
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Shock as Toy Story 4 trailer hints at introduction of sex toy character
13th November 2018 - 4.32 pm
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"You can have a freakshake when you stop being so f*cking fat" confirms government
13th November 2018 - 12.43 pm
Source: News Thump
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Harry Redknapp's I'm A Celebrity luxury item revealed to be a chequebook
13th November 2018 - 12.16 pm
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Number of paedophiles exposed by Tommy Robinson remains steady at zero
13th November 2018 - 11.15 am
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Aliens prepared to intervene over Irish backstop
13th November 2018 - 9.06 am
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Couple who named child Farage Rees-Mogg face jail
13th November 2018 - 8.33 am
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Stan Lee takes up permanent cameo in a billion grateful imaginations
12th November 2018 - 9.16 pm
Source: News Thump
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Jeremy Corbyn criticised for attending Remembrance Day service in his pyjamas
12th November 2018 - 12.51 pm
Source: News Thump
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We didn't like British Airways anyway, insist Brexiters
12th November 2018 - 11.47 am
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Ten more Johnson brothers to resign from government this week
12th November 2018 - 9.53 am
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Jeremy Corbyn beats level 653 on Candy Crush during Brexit briefing
12th November 2018 - 9.30 am
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9th November 2018 - 4.12 pm
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Theresa May hit by colossal metaphor as she is involved in car crash in Belgium
9th November 2018 - 3.21 pm
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Knife crime immediately disappears after Sajid Javid tells police to step up
9th November 2018 - 1.58 pm
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Dominic Raab surprised to learn importance of toilet paper after attempting to wipe own arse
9th November 2018 - 12.02 pm
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9th November 2018 - 10.35 am
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White shooter was "Lonely, misunderstood, mentally ill and such and such"
9th November 2018 - 10.13 am
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Cash refusing to be touched by Tommy Robinson
9th November 2018 - 9.47 am
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Hopes remain high that White House intern will walk again after brutal Jim Acosta attack
9th November 2018 - 8.14 am
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Anti-Brexit WWII veteran stunned to discover he is actually a member of the metropolitan liberal elite
8th November 2018 - 12.32 pm
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"I thought food and medicine appeared because of food and medicine fairies" admits Dominic Raab
8th November 2018 - 12.16 pm
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Prince Charles promises that as King he will only talk about homeopathy to his plants
8th November 2018 - 11.52 am
Source: News Thump

         

Latest Article




Articles

NOBODY is admitting that the awful weather that everyone seemed to want but is turning out to be a huge pain in the arse is the perfect metaphor for Brexit, it has been confirmed.


Published: 18th November 2018 - 9.30 pm
Source: The Daily Mash


The Daily Mash
Humour
The Brexiter’s guide to what’s British
18th November 2018 - 10.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Man confuses young people by saying he ‘taped’ a TV show
18th November 2018 - 9.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Group of women dancing in club spot man sashaying towards them
18th November 2018 - 9.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Everyone on stag do wants to go to bed
17th November 2018 - 10.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
We’d still vote Brexit, say people who pay little or no attention to the news
17th November 2018 - 10.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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40-something asks GP to test for whether he’s still relevant
16th November 2018 - 12.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Smug couple hobbies that will make people hate you even more
16th November 2018 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Builder who buggered up kitchen determined to ‘see it through’
16th November 2018 - 11.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Could you be the next useless Brexit secretary?
16th November 2018 - 10.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Dad determined to burn things that could just go in the rubbish
16th November 2018 - 9.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How to blame other people for f**king up at work
16th November 2018 - 8.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Nice couple sound like murderers when discussing their inheritance
15th November 2018 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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The mum’s guide to pretending your child is not a total little bastard
15th November 2018 - 11.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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I f**king love it, says Rees-Mogg
15th November 2018 - 10.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Man still thinks he’s slim
15th November 2018 - 9.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Dominic Raab to petrol bomb your house then petrol bomb the fire brigade
15th November 2018 - 9.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How to be a nutter at your child’s football match
15th November 2018 - 8.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
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Northern Ireland re-named ‘West Belgium’ in Brexit deal
14th November 2018 - 11.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Shit finally completes 29-month journey towards fan
14th November 2018 - 10.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Having children in late thirties linked to enjoying more of your thirties
14th November 2018 - 10.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
What does your choice of disgusting herbal tea say about you?
14th November 2018 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
High roller has £102.40 in Nectar Points
14th November 2018 - 9.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Sadomasochistic train company asks ‘how did we do?’
14th November 2018 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
A ‘freakshake’ is not Rees-Mogg being tasered, stress health campaigners
13th November 2018 - 2.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Also, you shouldn’t have a milkshake with a cake in it because it doesn’t work, say experts
13th November 2018 - 11.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Idiot claims he can’t spot ‘fake news’ that’s obviously fake
13th November 2018 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
A Brexit deal is tantalisingly close as long as the EU completely reverses its position overnight, by Theresa May
13th November 2018 - 11.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
What does your car say about whether you believe your car is your personality?
13th November 2018 - 9.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘What vegans want is more pretend blood in their food’
13th November 2018 - 9.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Neo-Nazi starting to think career opportunities may be a bit limited
13th November 2018 - 9.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Battery farm chicken can’t believe it downsized this much to live in London
12th November 2018 - 11.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
All men are twats, says woman exclusively attracted to twats
12th November 2018 - 11.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Do you have a lot of guilty pleasures, or is your taste in everything shit?
12th November 2018 - 11.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Don’t stay together on our account, Britain tells Tories
12th November 2018 - 10.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Is your partner a pain in the arse to sleep with?
12th November 2018 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Contactless payment leaves bus drivers searching for new ways to be arseholes
12th November 2018 - 9.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Man believes ‘let’s not get each other presents’ means he doesn’t have to get his girlfriend a present
11th November 2018 - 8.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Holding up a fish’ is sexiest thing ever, confirm women
11th November 2018 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Are you reading a proper book?
10th November 2018 - 8.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Couple on lunchtime date hammered and ready for sex by 4pm
10th November 2018 - 8.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Son close to murdering mum and dad with six remotes and no idea what they do
9th November 2018 - 12.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How to blame your parents for f**king you up
9th November 2018 - 11.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Man at ‘empire building’ stage of life barely holding down shitty job in office
9th November 2018 - 11.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Dominic Raab’s bloody obvious guide to the British Isles
9th November 2018 - 10.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Owning a speedboat in Britain ‘is shit’
9th November 2018 - 9.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Five guilt-free holiday destinations for annoying middle class people to show off about
9th November 2018 - 8.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Mummy blogger struggling to drink wine and swear at her kids every day
8th November 2018 - 12.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman unable to write friendly email without shitload of exclamation marks
8th November 2018 - 11.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Middle-class man levels up with own sourdough starter
8th November 2018 - 10.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Trump to evade arrest by firing anyone who comes within ten feet
8th November 2018 - 10.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Onion
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‘The Powerpuff Girls’ Turns 20
16th November 2018 - 9.27 pm
Source: The Onion
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Should Carmelo Anthony Return To His Prime?
16th November 2018 - 9.19 pm
Source: The Onion
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Metropolitan Museum Acquires Another Vase
16th November 2018 - 8.29 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Hate Crimes Continue To Rise
16th November 2018 - 8.01 pm
Source: The Onion
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‘Becoming A Mother Has Been The Most Thrilling Experience Of My Life,’ Reports Woman Fleeing Hospital With Stolen Baby
16th November 2018 - 7.30 pm
Source: The Onion
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Speakeasy Patrons Apparently Unaware It Legal To Go To Regular Bars Again
16th November 2018 - 6.36 pm
Source: The Onion
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Archaeologists Apologize For Murdering Last Remaining Neanderthal In Fit Of Crazed Bloodlust
16th November 2018 - 6.31 pm
Source: The Onion
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Embarrassed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Can Only Afford American Flag Pin With 19 Stars
16th November 2018 - 5.24 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Supercuts Now Offering To Give Customers Baths For $14.99
16th November 2018 - 5.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Khashoggi Assassin Hopes Bonus Check From Saudi Crown Prince Clears Before Execution
16th November 2018 - 4.56 pm
Source: The Onion
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Unhinged Lunatic Using Facebook To Spread Conspiracy Theories
16th November 2018 - 4.22 pm
Source: The Onion
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China Introduces New One-Uighur Policy
15th November 2018 - 10.10 pm
Source: The Onion
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5 Things To Know About Matthew Whitaker
15th November 2018 - 9.52 pm
Source: The Onion
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George R.R. Martin Admits He Struggling With New Book
15th November 2018 - 9.47 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Mother Feels A Little Validated After Daughter Who Stayed Out Late Gets Murdered
15th November 2018 - 8.59 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Facebook Just Filled With Crazy Idiots Now
15th November 2018 - 8.08 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Saudi Crown Prince Begins 100 Hours Of Court-Ordered Community Service For Murdering Jamal Khashoggi
15th November 2018 - 7.42 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Report: Underfunded Public Schools Lacking Basic Support Systems Leave Students Perfectly Prepared For Rest Of Life
15th November 2018 - 6.55 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Wealth-Burdened Nation Grateful For Opportunity to Spend Money At New Onion Store
15th November 2018 - 6.46 pm
Source: The Onion
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Wildfires More Frequent Because Of Climate Change, Forest Management
15th November 2018 - 6.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Boyfriend’s Snack 200% Of Woman’s Daily Caloric Intake
15th November 2018 - 5.55 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Disgusting Coworker Barely Even Washed Ass Before Leaving Bathroom
15th November 2018 - 5.43 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Widow Still Can’t Bring Herself To Get Rid Of Husband’s Corpse
15th November 2018 - 5.16 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Recently Divorced 40-Year-Old Struggling To Navigate College Dating Scene
14th November 2018 - 9.54 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Amazon Officially Picks New York, Northern Virginia For Next Headquarters
14th November 2018 - 9.20 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Melania Releases Statement Calling For Removal Of First Lady From White House
14th November 2018 - 8.54 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Nancy Pelosi Planning To Reenergize House By Injecting Self With Blood Of Young Representatives
14th November 2018 - 7.00 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
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Nation’s Tourists Announce Plans To Form Circle, Clap Hands Around Guys Doing Flips And Stuff
14th November 2018 - 5.57 pm
Source: The Onion
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Female Director Asked If She Feels Comfortable Filming Scene While Nude
14th November 2018 - 5.48 pm
Source: The Onion
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Pfizer Unveils New Double-Sided EpiPen For Lovers
14th November 2018 - 5.40 pm
Source: The Onion
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Naked Man Refusing To Let Unworthy Attire Touch His Body Until Launch Of New Onion Store Merchandise
14th November 2018 - 5.03 pm
Source: The Onion
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The Onion’s Guide To ‘Red Dead Redemption 2’
14th November 2018 - 4.31 pm
Source: The Onion
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The Fantastic Bore
14th November 2018 - 3.39 pm
Source: The Onion
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Report: Nation Getting Out All Their Aggression During Monthly Calls To Wireless Provider To Fix Service
14th November 2018 - 3.31 pm
Source: The Onion
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North Korea Possibly Still Operating Hidden Missiles Bases
14th November 2018 - 3.02 pm
Source: The Onion
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New ‘Game Of Thrones’ Trailer Reveals Final Season Will Be Cobbled Together From Old Footage
13th November 2018 - 10.02 pm
Source: The Onion
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NRA Publishes Tips For Staying Safe While Committing A Mass Shooting
13th November 2018 - 8.55 pm
Source: The Onion
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New York City Announces Subway Just For Amazon Employees Now
13th November 2018 - 8.44 pm
Source: The Onion
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Steve King Vehemently Denies Comparing Immigrants To People
13th November 2018 - 8.12 pm
Source: The Onion
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Poll Finds Voters Don’t Support Impeaching Trump
13th November 2018 - 8.03 pm
Source: The Onion
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Hillary Launches Campaign To Raise $100 Million Or Else She’ll Run For President
13th November 2018 - 7.53 pm
Source: The Onion
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Surgeon General Confirms A Bit Of Blow Here And There Won’t Kill Ya
13th November 2018 - 6.01 pm
Source: The Onion
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Trump Delivers Touching Tribute To Fallen Heroes Of WWE
13th November 2018 - 5.37 pm
Source: The Onion
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5 Things To Know About ‘Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald’
13th November 2018 - 4.59 pm
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‘He’s Not Right For You,’ Report Relationship Experts Who Must Not Want To See You Be Happy
13th November 2018 - 4.52 pm
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Political Ad Spending Hit New Record In 2018 Midterms
13th November 2018 - 4.32 pm
Source: The Onion
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45-Year-Old Loser Moves In With Parents
13th November 2018 - 3.46 pm
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Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 13, 2018
13th November 2018 - 2.00 pm
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3 More States Vote To Legalize Marijuana
12th November 2018 - 11.37 pm
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Woman Confident She Has The Safety Net It Takes To Achieve Dreams
12th November 2018 - 11.18 pm
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5 Trump Properties He Doesn't Like To Talk About
18th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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5 Hilariously Clever Ways Game Devs Made Their Games Work
17th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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16th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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16th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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PBR, Everyone’s Favorite Awful Beer, May Be On Its Deathbed
16th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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16th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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15th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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15th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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Archaeologists Just Found A Bunch Of Mummified Cats
14th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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14th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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14th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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13th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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12th November 2018 - 2.12 pm
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12th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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11th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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10th November 2018 - 2.10 pm
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5th November 2018 - 2.14 pm
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1st November 2018 - 1.04 pm
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1st November 2018 - 1.04 pm
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Some bloke called Steve named Brexit Secretary for a bit
16th November 2018 - 6.51 pm
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New Brexit Secretary inaugurated with traditional goblet of bubbling turds
16th November 2018 - 6.39 pm
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Dominic Raab insists he's NOT a rogue sex robot for Tory women of a certain age
16th November 2018 - 4.18 pm
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News Thump
Humour
Pudsey declared fit for work by DWP as he can still use his other eye
16th November 2018 - 3.29 pm
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New Indiana Jones film to feature search for a workable Brexit deal
16th November 2018 - 12.50 pm
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Nation pisses itself laughing after David Davis claims an FTA with the EU would take 3 months
16th November 2018 - 10.36 am
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Theresa May's cabinet downgraded to a 'chest of drawers'
16th November 2018 - 9.54 am
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'Brexit Withdrawal Agreement Is Brilliant' to be printed on side of bus to secure support amongst idiots
16th November 2018 - 9.03 am
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Aim of Brexit referendum to unite Conservative Party now fully achieved, confirms David Cameron
15th November 2018 - 4.10 pm
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"Coup is the wrong word" says shotgun-wielding Jacob Rees-Mogg
15th November 2018 - 4.01 pm
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Government wouldn’t be in this mess if Boris Johnson’s dad had stuck to his Withdrawal Agreement
15th November 2018 - 3.34 pm
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Baldrick named as new Brexit Secretary
15th November 2018 - 2.50 pm
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Concerned nation joins hunt for missing Boris Johnson
15th November 2018 - 2.29 pm
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Environmentalists criticise government for employing single-use Brexit Secretaries
15th November 2018 - 12.46 pm
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Everyone has very strong opinions about 500-page Brexit deal that no one has read
15th November 2018 - 12.40 pm
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John Lewis releases Elton John doll in time for Christmas
15th November 2018 - 12.30 pm
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Daily Mail criticises BBC for undermining Christian values as Dr Who special moved to New Year
15th November 2018 - 11.51 am
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Esther McVey 'now subject to benefit sanctions' after voluntarily resigning from her job
15th November 2018 - 10.35 am
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Dominic Raab resigns after admitting that Theresa May has 'failed' in the job he was supposed to be doing
15th November 2018 - 9.27 am
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'But we were pwomithed a pony' shout tedious whiny f*cking Brexiters
15th November 2018 - 8.58 am
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Theresa May successfully delivers Brexit deal that disappoints absolutely everyone
14th November 2018 - 9.03 pm
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Cabinet ministers urged to keep their resignation letters nice and short
14th November 2018 - 4.51 pm
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"No deal is better than a bad deal but please agree to this bad deal so we can have a deal" pleads May
14th November 2018 - 3.53 pm
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Parliament to be given vote between May's terrible Brexit deal and catastrophe of no deal
14th November 2018 - 12.06 pm
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Employee who misread lotto numbers frantically cleaning his own shit from manager's desk
14th November 2018 - 11.23 am
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“Come on then, fuckers!” roars drunken Theresa May at Brexit cabinet meeting
14th November 2018 - 10.47 am
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Esther McVey and Andrea Leadsom awake to find horse heads in their beds
14th November 2018 - 9.27 am
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"I refuse to be drenched in anything other than hooker piss" confirms Trump
13th November 2018 - 4.42 pm
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Shock as Toy Story 4 trailer hints at introduction of sex toy character
13th November 2018 - 4.32 pm
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"You can have a freakshake when you stop being so f*cking fat" confirms government
13th November 2018 - 12.43 pm
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Harry Redknapp's I'm A Celebrity luxury item revealed to be a chequebook
13th November 2018 - 12.16 pm
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Number of paedophiles exposed by Tommy Robinson remains steady at zero
13th November 2018 - 11.15 am
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Aliens prepared to intervene over Irish backstop
13th November 2018 - 9.06 am
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Couple who named child Farage Rees-Mogg face jail
13th November 2018 - 8.33 am
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Stan Lee takes up permanent cameo in a billion grateful imaginations
12th November 2018 - 9.16 pm
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Jeremy Corbyn criticised for attending Remembrance Day service in his pyjamas
12th November 2018 - 12.51 pm
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We didn't like British Airways anyway, insist Brexiters
12th November 2018 - 11.47 am
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Ten more Johnson brothers to resign from government this week
12th November 2018 - 9.53 am
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Jeremy Corbyn beats level 653 on Candy Crush during Brexit briefing
12th November 2018 - 9.30 am
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PayPal boycott by Tommy Robinson fans sees payment firm lose tens of pounds
9th November 2018 - 4.12 pm
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Theresa May hit by colossal metaphor as she is involved in car crash in Belgium
9th November 2018 - 3.21 pm
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Knife crime immediately disappears after Sajid Javid tells police to step up
9th November 2018 - 1.58 pm
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Dominic Raab surprised to learn importance of toilet paper after attempting to wipe own arse
9th November 2018 - 12.02 pm
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NewsThump to release Christmas TV advert
9th November 2018 - 10.35 am
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White shooter was "Lonely, misunderstood, mentally ill and such and such"
9th November 2018 - 10.13 am
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Cash refusing to be touched by Tommy Robinson
9th November 2018 - 9.47 am
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Hopes remain high that White House intern will walk again after brutal Jim Acosta attack
9th November 2018 - 8.14 am
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Anti-Brexit WWII veteran stunned to discover he is actually a member of the metropolitan liberal elite
8th November 2018 - 12.32 pm
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"I thought food and medicine appeared because of food and medicine fairies" admits Dominic Raab
8th November 2018 - 12.16 pm
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Prince Charles promises that as King he will only talk about homeopathy to his plants
8th November 2018 - 11.52 am
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