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WASHINGTON—Laying on his horn while stuck in bumper-to-bumper gridlock, an annoyed special counsel Robert Mueller reportedly screamed at “dipshit protestors” from his car Thursday as a MoveOn rally held up traffic during his nightly commute. “Get a move on, assholes! Some of us have actual paying jobs and want to get home to our families after a long day at the office,” shouted the frustrated former FBI director, rolling down his window and berating the thousands of protestors to “shut the fuck up already” so he could “get out of this goddamn city.” “Seriously, don’t any of you people have jobs? It’s 5 p.m. on a Thursday. And hello? What happened to using sidewalks or speaking in a reasonable tone? Jesus, this shit should be illegal.” At press time, Mueller had reportedly been arrested for beating a protestor unconscious after the demonstrator kicked a dent into the side of his car.
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Published: 8th November 2018 - 11.05 pm
Source: The Onion




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Latest Article

  


Articles

WASHINGTON—Laying on his horn while stuck in bumper-to-bumper gridlock, an annoyed special counsel Robert Mueller reportedly screamed at “dipshit protestors” from his car Thursday as a MoveOn rally held up traffic during his nightly commute. “Get a move on, assholes! Some of us have actual paying jobs and want to get home to our families after a long day at the office,” shouted the frustrated former FBI director, rolling down his window and berating the thousands of protestors to “shut the fuck up already” so he could “get out of this goddamn city.” “Seriously, don’t any of you people have jobs? It’s 5 p.m. on a Thursday. And hello? What happened to using sidewalks or speaking in a reasonable tone? Jesus, this shit should be illegal.” At press time, Mueller had reportedly been arrested for beating a protestor unconscious after the demonstrator kicked a dent into the side of his car.
Go to full article
Published:
Source: The Onion




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Latest Article




Articles

WASHINGTON—Laying on his horn while stuck in bumper-to-bumper gridlock, an annoyed special counsel Robert Mueller reportedly screamed at “dipshit protestors” from his car Thursday as a MoveOn rally held up traffic during his nightly commute. “Get a move on, assholes! Some of us have actual paying jobs and want to get home to our families after a long day at the office,” shouted the frustrated former FBI director, rolling down his window and berating the thousands of protestors to “shut the fuck up already” so he could “get out of this goddamn city.” “Seriously, don’t any of you people have jobs? It’s 5 p.m. on a Thursday. And hello? What happened to using sidewalks or speaking in a reasonable tone? Jesus, this shit should be illegal.” At press time, Mueller had reportedly been arrested for beating a protestor unconscious after the demonstrator kicked a dent into the side of his car.
Go to full article
Published: 26th May 2019 - 1.23 am
Source: The Onion


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A 'Game Of Thrones' Trailer Is Inspiring More Wacky Theories
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Reasons Famously Bad Movies Totally Sucked
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Crucial Things To Remember About Our Wretched Hellscape
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Films That Accidentally Made The Villain The Nicest Person
6th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Better Versions Of Superheroes We'll Hopefully Get Soon
6th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Disney's 'Star Wars' Menu Looks Kind Of Gross
5th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
'Fortnite' Erotica Says A Ton About The Future Of Gaming
5th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Steven Spielberg Wants To Destroy Netflix Movies
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
4 Viral Science News Stories The Media Totally Screwed Up
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Killing The Amazon Dash Button Will Only Make It Stronger
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Miracle Cures That Are Way Worse Than The Disease Itself
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Ways We Train Teenage Girls To Love Psychopaths
3rd March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The 5 Weirdest Schemes Real Countries Use To Pay The Bills
2nd March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Unhelpful Ways We Respond To A Friend In Crisis
2nd March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Weird Facts About Congress Nobody Told You In School
1st March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Ways Baby Boomers Keep Getting Worse
1st March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
News Thump
Humour
New Worst Prime Minister in History set to be in place for July
24th May 2019 - 3.26 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Theresa May's leaving do just her drinking scotch through a straw while crying
24th May 2019 - 1.45 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Theresa was a hardworking, admirable Prime Minister and as a personal friend I’m sad to see her go, says Tory MP who called for her hanging yesterday
24th May 2019 - 12.19 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Theresa May dusts off CV before realising Achievements section doesn't need updating
24th May 2019 - 11.46 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Theresa May to be put in Bagpuss' shop window along with all the other lost and broken things nobody wants any more
24th May 2019 - 11.02 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Mark Francois to spend Bank Holiday masturbating to The Great Escape
24th May 2019 - 10.21 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Theresa May informs Tory Brexiters 'Therexit means Therexit'
24th May 2019 - 9.48 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
But you don't mind Google spying on you? asks Huawei
24th May 2019 - 9.25 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Arseholes reminded that milkshaking volunteers instead of politicians makes them look like petulant scumbags
23rd May 2019 - 9.10 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Prick insists on taking his own f*cking biro into the polling booth
23rd May 2019 - 3.08 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Stubborn stains to be renamed 'Theresa Mays'
23rd May 2019 - 2.53 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
But who will pour the tea now? asked Mog, sadly
23rd May 2019 - 1.48 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Screw it, we're going to make a new show and just call it Tits and Dragons, says HBO
23rd May 2019 - 11.53 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Massive EU election conspiracy foiled after Brexit voter uses a pen
23rd May 2019 - 11.23 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Mark Francois denies making throat-slitting gesture, claims insects were stuck in his jowls
23rd May 2019 - 10.40 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Nigel Farage's bus ordeal to be given Hollywood treatment in ‘Night of the Living Milkshakes’
23rd May 2019 - 10.10 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Andrea Leadsom to marry Dothraki horse lord to consolidate power
23rd May 2019 - 9.27 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
British given vote on Brussels bureaucrats for first time ever
23rd May 2019 - 9.08 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Nation left shocked as "heavy-hearted" Andrea Leadsom implies she has a heart
23rd May 2019 - 8.51 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Huawei's new phone unveiled as two tin cans and piece of string
22nd May 2019 - 2.47 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
EU elections set to be even more disappointing than Game of Thrones finale
22nd May 2019 - 12.01 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Bran Stark has milkshake thrown over him by angry members of the Unsullied
22nd May 2019 - 8.56 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
We are having a fourth vote on my deal in case anyone has changed their mind, insists irony-free Theresa May
22nd May 2019 - 8.47 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Brexit Party to highlight 'undemocratic' nature of EU by running in democratic EU election
22nd May 2019 - 8.27 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Far-right supporters unhappy about milkshake jokes quietly asking themselves 'Wait, are WE the snowflakes?'
21st May 2019 - 12.45 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Chris Grayling throws milkshake at himself – and misses
21st May 2019 - 10.21 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Newspaper columnist planning to vote for 'someone unexpected' believes people give a shit
21st May 2019 - 10.04 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Brexit Party to avoid further unfortunate milkshake incidents with new protective uniform
20th May 2019 - 4.16 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Jeremy Renner to play Tommy Robinson in "No Country for Brown Men"
20th May 2019 - 3.37 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Nazi salute' actually began as a reflex to block incoming milkshakes, confirm historians
20th May 2019 - 12.13 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson promises an extra £350m a week for the NHS if elected Tory leader
20th May 2019 - 11.13 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Britain once again crowned champion at grinning through a humiliating Eurovision defeat
20th May 2019 - 9.39 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Game of Thrones shocks fans with 'it was all a dream' soap opera ending
20th May 2019 - 9.01 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Missouri makes menstruation a crime after learning ovum could able been a child
18th May 2019 - 10.21 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Man outraged by Robert Pattinson as Batman has never actually seen any of his films
18th May 2019 - 10.13 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Concern that rise in conspiracy theories could be the work of secret organisation of powerful elites
18th May 2019 - 9.53 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Shock as Theresa May fails to negotiate a deal with someone
17th May 2019 - 10.47 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson submits planning application for 10 Downing Street sex dungeon
17th May 2019 - 9.45 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Decisive Labour Party not ruling out looking into the possible option of discussing a hypothetical 2nd referendum (should all else fail)
17th May 2019 - 9.37 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Change UK election strategy to share really savage memes about Nigel Farage
17th May 2019 - 9.27 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Dragon attack on Kings Landing was a ‘false flag’, claims Winterfell conspiracy theorist
17th May 2019 - 9.20 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
"Oh fucking goody" says everyone
16th May 2019 - 2.36 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Rapists who want a big family all heading to Alabama
16th May 2019 - 1.52 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Game of Thrones fans left shocked as Daenerys kills almost as many innocent people as Tony Blair
16th May 2019 - 12.21 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Alabama outlaws abortion in cases of incest because that's about half their population
16th May 2019 - 11.02 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Strangely low turnout for Brexit Party rally in town that benefited massively from EU investment
16th May 2019 - 10.49 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Judge Rinder laughing his tits off
16th May 2019 - 9.48 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Change UK's monthly name change due imminently
16th May 2019 - 9.31 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'We’d all be speaking German now' definitely worst possible consequence of Nazis winning war, insist Brexiters
15th May 2019 - 12.17 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Jeremy Kyle forced to go door-to-door berating poor people
15th May 2019 - 11.37 am
Source: News Thump


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