David Cameron quit as MP for Witney and just recently quit as Prime Minister but, he says, he is not going to quit being a twat.
In a shock move Cameron, who is no longer an MP or a Prime Minister, will still continue to be a twat but in only slightly smaller capacity i.e. at home.
"This is a really exciting change for me", Cameron said after his 2nd high profile resignation. "You see you leave a spoon in the knife drawer and it gets Sam really angry but the UN never blink an eye so I'm thinking why bother. Sod you Ki-moon. I'll just be a twat at home."
He then went on an exhaustive rant about some of things he going to be getting involved in twat wise:
"Well to be honest," Samantha Cameron said whilst downing another gin miniature. "There's not going to be much change round here as he was doing all of that stuff before. Although he's never once put a spoon the knife drawer. Oh well, looks like there is going to be trouble then."
- The aforementioned putting the spoon in the knife drawer
- Belching loudly at the dinner table
- Having a devil may care attitude to personal hygiene
- Being up way past lunch time in just his underwear
- Being driven to Waitrose and laughing at the middle classes
- Seeing all films on the first day of release and telling everyone the spoilers
Written by: Giles D'Arcy
Photograhy by: Giles D'Arcy
Published: 15th December 2018 - 10.14 am
Source: Zerchoo Original Humour