Latest Article

  


Articles

HOUSTON—Observing that the man in question used seven crosswalks at a minimum on any given day, local sources confirmed Wednesday local pedestrian Brian Jennings, 33, has become obsessed with crossing the street. “At the last intersection, he put a lot of time and effort, relatively speaking, into crossing a street east-to-west—yet he had just crossed an intersecting street in south-to-north direction literally moments before! Where does this sort of behavior end?” said onlookers regarding the pedestrian, whose unknown motives for street-crossing have led him to cross avenues, roads, lanes, walkways, and at times even alleys in a pattern of behavior some are coming to regard as disturbing. “It’s either part of some larger pedestrian plan that we’re only seeing in its broadest outlines or it’s some kind of sick addiction. Every day, the guy crosses 12 public byways before work, and that’s if he takes the most direct route to his place of employment. Then, for three to five hours, nothing. Under a thinly veiled pretense of getting lunch, he leaves the building and immediately walks to another intersection, waits for the light to change if necessary, and crosses, often in the company of other known pedestrians. And if you think that’s the last time he does so, I’m sorry, but you are simply deluding yourself. You should see the number of streets he crosses on his way home at night.” Sources speaking out on Jennings have asked to remain anonymous, noting that they live just a handful of street crossings away from the pedestrian. 
Go to full article
Published: 12th June 2019 - 8.19 pm
Source: The Onion




The Daily Mash
Humour
Are you sh*t at your job or is it all a Remainer plot?
27th June 2019 - 9.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Britain was great around the 2012 Olympics, idiots recall
27th June 2019 - 8.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How the UK’s immigration points system will work
27th June 2019 - 7.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
The office worker’s guide to having a depressing lunchtime ‘picnic’
26th June 2019 - 12.50 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Entire office rendered unable to work by knowledge of cake in kitchen
26th June 2019 - 11.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Older siblings great because they catch all the sh*t
26th June 2019 - 10.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Londoner hates everywhere outside of London too
26th June 2019 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
UK bins to stink ‘worse than bins in Ibiza’ this weekend
26th June 2019 - 9.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Kid late for school because mum was d*cking about on Facebook again
26th June 2019 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘They call me… The Busmaker’
26th June 2019 - 7.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Johnson pledges tax cut for unicorn breeders
25th June 2019 - 5.10 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
No-Deal Brexit recipes you can make without food
25th June 2019 - 2.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Couple stuck in passive-aggressive tit-for-tat wedding invite nightmare
25th June 2019 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How to accept you’re a ‘family festival’ person now
25th June 2019 - 10.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Ars*hole hosts make guests take their shoes off
25th June 2019 - 10.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
360-degree spinning sex swing was in Frogmore Cottage already, says Harry
25th June 2019 - 9.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
My track record of f**king things up and running away is irrelevant to my becoming prime minister
25th June 2019 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Man won’t read books written by women in case he turns into one
25th June 2019 - 7.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Close doors’ button on lift does f*ck all, admits engineer
24th June 2019 - 12.00 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘F**king grasses will get theirs when I’m PM’ vows Johnson
24th June 2019 - 10.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Quick, easy’ recipe from Guardian still being prepared eight days later
24th June 2019 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Duck fed on sourdough becoming unbearable
24th June 2019 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Rural pub adds second wine
24th June 2019 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Walking in same direction after saying goodbye ‘most stressful thing possible’
24th June 2019 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Five reasons why this chihuahua would be a better prime minister than Boris Johnson
24th June 2019 - 7.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Man who used washing up liquid in dishwasher honestly thinks he can live by himself
23rd June 2019 - 8.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Would you die for heavy metal? Take the test…
23rd June 2019 - 6.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman still using separate shampoo and conditioner like an arsehole
22nd June 2019 - 7.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Old work colleagues meet to trash old work colleagues
22nd June 2019 - 7.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Johnson’s charm officially runs out
22nd June 2019 - 7.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Cutest babies the worst sleepers, scientists confirm
21st June 2019 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Ed Sheeran wondering what to ruin next
21st June 2019 - 10.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Are you a member of the Conservative party or a Bond villain?
21st June 2019 - 10.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Britain wonders if any television will ever be big enough
21st June 2019 - 9.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Tory MP apologises for letting Greenpeace protester live
21st June 2019 - 8.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Which of these men will be Britain’s last Tory prime minister?
21st June 2019 - 7.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman unsure if she’s in hipster café or millennial office
20th June 2019 - 11.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Plan to get ripped for summer put off until August
20th June 2019 - 10.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Britain not drunk enough to accept Boris Johnson will be next prime minister
20th June 2019 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Worst person you know sharing inspirational quotes again
20th June 2019 - 9.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Visit to independent record shop instantly regretted
20th June 2019 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
The Tory arsehole’s guide to jogging
20th June 2019 - 7.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Pink balloon threatens human
19th June 2019 - 12.30 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Weedy boys to team up against school bully
19th June 2019 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman who tells everyone to ‘grow up’ sounds like a teenager
19th June 2019 - 10.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How to have a pointlessly pretentious and expensive barbecue
19th June 2019 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Tory candidates agree that they’ve totally f*cked up Britain
19th June 2019 - 9.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Being environmentally conscious great way of annoying parents, ten-year-olds discover
19th June 2019 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Which lies are you willing to believe from Boris Johnson?
19th June 2019 - 7.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Anxious nation cheered by Raab’s dismal failure
18th June 2019 - 5.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Onion
Humour
13.5 Million Americans Tune In To Watch Animal Planet’s ‘Puppy Parlay’ During DNC Debate Halftime Show
27th June 2019 - 2.27 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Presidential Debate Sidetracked By Booker, De Blasio Arguing About Best Place In Lower Manhattan To Get Tapas
27th June 2019 - 1.59 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Tim Ryan Attempting To Stand Out From Other Candidates On Debate Stage By Wearing Blue Power Ranger Costume
27th June 2019 - 1.38 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Lester Holt Begins Debate By Reiterating He Doesn’t Know Who These Fucking People Are
27th June 2019 - 1.05 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Chuck Todd Extensively Preparing To Accept Whatever Candidates Say At Face Value Without Any Follow-Up Questions
27th June 2019 - 12.52 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Norfolk Tides Third Baseman Sent Down To Baltimore Orioles
26th June 2019 - 8.05 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Americans Tune Into First Democratic Debates
26th June 2019 - 7.42 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Pence Declines To Say Whether Climate Change A Threat
26th June 2019 - 6.19 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
10 Indie Games That Were So Heartbreakingly Pitiful We Decided To Throw Them A Bone
26th June 2019 - 5.45 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
What To Expect In The First Democratic Debates
26th June 2019 - 4.44 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
5 Things To Know About John Delaney
26th June 2019 - 4.06 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: Doing Your Part To Stop Climate Change Now Requires Planting 30,000 New Trees, Getting 40,000 Cars Off The Road, Reviving 20 Square Miles Of Coral Reef
26th June 2019 - 1.13 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Ruthlessly Scolds Other Man Online For Having Opinion He Held Less Than 2 Years Ago
26th June 2019 - 1.07 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Elderly Man Looks Even Sadder When Smiling
26th June 2019 - 12.51 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Congress Reaches Compromise To Admit District Of Columbia Into Union As Slave State
26th June 2019 - 12.42 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
U.S. Imposes New Sanctions On Iran
26th June 2019 - 12.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Review: ‘Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled’ Delivers Speed, Savagery, And Fun I Haven’t Felt Since My Third DUI
25th June 2019 - 5.03 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 25, 2019
25th June 2019 - 4.30 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
‘I Just Want A Substantive, Issues-Oriented Democratic Debate,’ Lie Thousands Of Americans Hungry For Unhinged Trainwreck
25th June 2019 - 1.28 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Confirms Pence As 2020 Running Mate
25th June 2019 - 1.23 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: Only 260,000 More Games Of ‘Candy Crush’ Until You Die
25th June 2019 - 1.17 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Paul Manafort Trying To Ferment Vintage Cheval Blanc In Toilet Tank
25th June 2019 - 1.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Soldiering On ... And On ...
25th June 2019 - 12.59 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Aretha Franklin Institute For Female Entrepreneurship Confirms Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves
25th June 2019 - 12.47 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Bolton Says Military Action Still On The Table
24th June 2019 - 8.36 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Gaming Addict Attempting To Slowly Wean Self Off Of Real Life
24th June 2019 - 6.37 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Giannis Antetokounmpo Credits Success To Early Days Playing Against Greek Gods
24th June 2019 - 3.59 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Obesity Rates Falling Among U.S. Preschoolers
24th June 2019 - 3.38 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
John Bolton Urges War Against The Sun After Uncovering Evidence It Has Nuclear Capabilities
24th June 2019 - 3.15 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Wretched Outcast Woman With Combination Skin Forever Trapped Between Dry And Oily Worlds
24th June 2019 - 2.46 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
5 Things To Know About Tulsi Gabbard
24th June 2019 - 1.15 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Hero Coworker Contributes Single Tissue To Water Spill Cleanup Efforts At Next Desk
24th June 2019 - 1.12 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Nenê Wins NBA’s Tenth Man Of The Year Award
24th June 2019 - 1.09 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Nation’s Men Holding Acoustic Guitars Announce Plan To Idly Strum While You Try To Talk To Them
24th June 2019 - 1.08 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
The Week In Pictures – Week Of June 24, 2019
24th June 2019 - 12.53 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
EPA Weakens U.S. Climate Change Plan
21st June 2019 - 7.39 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Remembers It Summer Solstice After Noticing Group Of Pagans Fucking In Ring Of Fire On Way To Work
21st June 2019 - 6.21 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
How To Find The Best Cheap Eats In The Dumpsters Behind Los Angeles's Best Restaurants
21st June 2019 - 6.13 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Bolton Calls For Forceful Iranian Response To Continuing U.S. Aggression
21st June 2019 - 5.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
James Harden, Chris Paul Deny Rumors Of Discord, Say They Are Fully Committed To Team At State Farm
21st June 2019 - 4.46 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Hot Wheels Ranked Number One Toy For Rolling Down Ramp, Knocking Over Dominoes That Send Marble Down A Funnel, Dropping Onto Teeter-Totter That Yanks On String, Causing Pulley System To Raise Wooden Block, Propelling Series Of Twine Rollers That Unwind Spring, Launching Tennis Ball Across Room, Inching Tire Down Slope Until It Hits Power Switch, Activating Table Fan That Blows Toy Ship With Nail Attached To It Across Kiddie Pool, Popping Water Balloon That Fills Cup, Weighing Down Lever That For
21st June 2019 - 4.00 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Tips For Moving Back In With Your Parents
21st June 2019 - 1.51 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Get Down And Blog The Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Way!
21st June 2019 - 1.45 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
$1 Billion Worth Of Cocaine Seized
21st June 2019 - 1.32 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: Trying To Hug Oncoming Train Still Leading Cause Of Death For Nation’s Idiots
21st June 2019 - 1.29 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
‘The Lion King’ Turns 25
21st June 2019 - 1.25 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Fashion Designers Announce Plans to Wave With Both Hands, Bow Slightly
21st June 2019 - 1.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Woman Under Impression She Being Discreet About Fishing Stray Hair Out Of Bra
21st June 2019 - 1.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Little League Coach Just Washed-Up Former Little Leaguer
21st June 2019 - 12.55 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Knicks Front Office Scrambling After Zion Williamson Drafted Before 3rd Pick
20th June 2019 - 11.10 pm
Source: The Onion
Cracked
Humour
6 Movie and TV Easter Eggs Hidden In The Real World
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Shocking Ways People Turned Tragedies Into Cold, Hard Cash
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Old-Timey Theories About Health That Were Dumb AF
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Myspace Admits It Has Deleted All Of Your Stuff (Again)
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Lame Attempts to Make Action Heroes Look Badass
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Real Lesson of James Gunn Coming Back To 'Guardians 3'
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Impressive Scams People Used To Get Out Of Work
17th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Hilarious Ways Ads Tried To Make Boring Products Cool
16th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Real Colonel Sanders Was A Relentless, Amazing Maniac
16th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Stories That Prove Instagram Influencers Are The Worst
15th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Study: Hip-Hop Makes Your Cheese Taste Better (Seriously)
15th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Annoying Things They Don't Tell You About Being A Parent
15th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
How Normal People Do Things And How YOU Do Things
15th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Big Clues In The New Avengers Trailer (Are The Haircuts)
14th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Bryan Singer Dropped From 'Red Sonja' For The Worst Reason
14th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Behind-The-Scenes Shots That Take The Glamour Out Of Ads
14th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 New (And Strangely Plausible) Conspiracy Theories
14th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Netflix Is Making More Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Movies
13th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
7 Viral Stories That Had Twists Nobody Remembers
13th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Reasons The DC Film Universe Is Poised To Make A Comeback
13th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Here Are The Super Weird 'Captain Marvel' Ads You Missed
12th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Scary Stories That Sound Made Up (That Really Happened)
12th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Ted Bundy's Execution Party Was Completely Nuts
12th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Scientists Will Zap Prisoners' Brains To Make Them Behave
11th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Disney Vault Is Dead, Long Live Disney+
11th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Math Anxiety Is A Real Thing That’s Freaking You Out
11th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Foreign Reality Shows That Put American Ones To Shame
11th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 People Who Learned A Horrible Truth About Themselves On TV
10th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Natural Wonders That Are Creepier Than Any Horror Movie
9th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Bizarre, Terrifying Effects Of Sleep Deprivation
9th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Modern Countries That Are Acting Like Insane Supervillains
8th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
14 Dumb Health Products Pretending To Be Ancient Secrets
8th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
These 42 Characters Are Identical No Matter What They're In
8th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Goddamn It, Alex Trebek Has Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
A 'Game Of Thrones' Trailer Is Inspiring More Wacky Theories
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Reasons Famously Bad Movies Totally Sucked
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Crucial Things To Remember About Our Wretched Hellscape
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Films That Accidentally Made The Villain The Nicest Person
6th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Better Versions Of Superheroes We'll Hopefully Get Soon
6th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Disney's 'Star Wars' Menu Looks Kind Of Gross
5th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
'Fortnite' Erotica Says A Ton About The Future Of Gaming
5th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Steven Spielberg Wants To Destroy Netflix Movies
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
4 Viral Science News Stories The Media Totally Screwed Up
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Killing The Amazon Dash Button Will Only Make It Stronger
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Miracle Cures That Are Way Worse Than The Disease Itself
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Ways We Train Teenage Girls To Love Psychopaths
3rd March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The 5 Weirdest Schemes Real Countries Use To Pay The Bills
2nd March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Unhelpful Ways We Respond To A Friend In Crisis
2nd March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Weird Facts About Congress Nobody Told You In School
1st March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Ways Baby Boomers Keep Getting Worse
1st March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
News Thump
Humour
I'll nuke the whole bloody UK if we don't leave the EU by 31 October, promises Boris Johnson
27th June 2019 - 10.44 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Most Conservative Party members didn't watch digital hustings because their grandkids weren't around to help them log on
27th June 2019 - 9.54 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Jeremy Corbyn claims that some of his best friends are Jews
27th June 2019 - 9.18 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Queen refusing to let Charles have the top job until he ditches all that homeopathy bullshit
26th June 2019 - 1.51 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Glastonbury festival cancelled due to good weather
26th June 2019 - 12.07 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Bus paint man' horrifies nation as footage shows the terrible effects of past drug abuse
26th June 2019 - 11.58 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Considerate driver avoids blocking the bus lane by parking on the pavement
26th June 2019 - 11.24 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris painstakingly paints people into his wooden toy buses before sending them off a cliff
26th June 2019 - 9.52 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris reveals hobby of pretending to have hobbies
26th June 2019 - 8.46 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Man left confused when supermarket moved the eggs still believes he could have been a spy
25th June 2019 - 3.49 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Donald Trump attacks mayor of Midsomer on Twitter after latest spate of murders
25th June 2019 - 2.29 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
I would only sexually assault women I find attractive, insists Donald Trump
25th June 2019 - 11.42 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris agrees to debate Jeremy Hunt in November or December
25th June 2019 - 10.07 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Taxpayer funds Harry and Meghan's home renovation at bargain price of one MRI scanner
25th June 2019 - 9.31 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson releases pictures of him having full sex with partner to confirm all is normal
25th June 2019 - 9.13 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Referendum fought on 'democracy' to see nation get Prime Minister no-one voted for
24th June 2019 - 3.30 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
My political views are private and I will certainly not discuss them on television, says future Prime Minister
24th June 2019 - 2.52 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
John Prescott gives Grim Reaper a firm left hook
24th June 2019 - 2.34 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
De Beers diamond company announces move into lucrative pick 'n' mix business
24th June 2019 - 12.30 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Geoffrey Boycott insisting 'we survived two World Wars' reminded that many people didn't
24th June 2019 - 11.40 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson hoping Downing Street walls have been soundproofed
24th June 2019 - 10.47 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Philip Hammond admits to recording Theresa May arguing with husband about whether to watch NCIS or Midsomer Murders
24th June 2019 - 10.29 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Daily Telegraph launches "Don’t Make A Fuss" campaign on domestic violence
24th June 2019 - 9.04 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
I can negotiate free access to single market, insists man struggling to negotiate free access to girlfriend’s bed
23rd June 2019 - 1.55 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Police sent to Boris Johnson's home after his girlfriend threatened to walk behind him during dinner
22nd June 2019 - 12.15 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson refuses to accept his girlfriend telling him "leave means leave"
22nd June 2019 - 11.46 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson wakes from massive bender hoping he didn't do anything stupid
22nd June 2019 - 11.15 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Billy Joel found looking guilty with box of matches
22nd June 2019 - 10.22 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Man who already has a wardrobe full of Iron Maiden t-shirts just bought another
21st June 2019 - 7.24 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
New film 'Yesterday' depicts world where man wakes up and no one has heard of Brexit
21st June 2019 - 12.43 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Michael Gove to join Motley Crue
21st June 2019 - 10.07 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Mark Field buys 'This Is What A Feminist Looks Like' t-shirt
21st June 2019 - 9.30 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Tory minister leaps into action to bravely grab throat of woman threatening to use words he didn't like
21st June 2019 - 8.58 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Tory leadership battle reduced to Tw*t vs C*nt
20th June 2019 - 7.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Office worker reveals hatred of colleagues by changing email sign off from 'Kind Regards' to 'Regards'
20th June 2019 - 2.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Instead of further Tory leadership votes can we have a Thunderdome, asks everyone
20th June 2019 - 10.10 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Most Tory members would accept mass starvation if it got their grandkids to friend them on Facebook, reveals poll
20th June 2019 - 9.50 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Tories reject Rory Stewart's bold new vision of politicians telling the truth
20th June 2019 - 9.25 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Plans to graft Rory Stewart onto Michael Gove in order to combat Boris Johnson
19th June 2019 - 2.16 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
I know all about death warrants from my extensive training in the army, confirms Mark Francois
19th June 2019 - 12.43 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Comparing the EU to Hitler is the first step in getting them to give us a better deal, insists Boris
19th June 2019 - 12.09 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
BBC under fire for airing Frank Spencer audition tape instead of Tory leadership debate
19th June 2019 - 10.46 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson criticised for taking off his trousers during leadership debate
19th June 2019 - 10.16 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Daily Telegraph to change name to ‘The Boris Johnson Fan Club Newsletter’
19th June 2019 - 9.23 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Shock as former Brexit secretary who failed to deliver Brexit not trusted to deliver Brexit
18th June 2019 - 8.00 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
BBC contractually obliged to let Nigel Farage take part in televised Tory leadership debate
18th June 2019 - 2.34 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Forty-year-old man realises with horror he has no idea which remote control is which
18th June 2019 - 12.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
If I become prime minister all good guys will carry massive knives, says Jeremy Hunt
18th June 2019 - 11.36 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Every British household will be able to access Ashley Madison, promises Boris Johnson
18th June 2019 - 11.06 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Tory leadership debate to use Blind Date format
18th June 2019 - 10.09 am
Source: News Thump

            

Latest Article

  


Articles

HOUSTON—Observing that the man in question used seven crosswalks at a minimum on any given day, local sources confirmed Wednesday local pedestrian Brian Jennings, 33, has become obsessed with crossing the street. “At the last intersection, he put a lot of time and effort, relatively speaking, into crossing a street east-to-west—yet he had just crossed an intersecting street in south-to-north direction literally moments before! Where does this sort of behavior end?” said onlookers regarding the pedestrian, whose unknown motives for street-crossing have led him to cross avenues, roads, lanes, walkways, and at times even alleys in a pattern of behavior some are coming to regard as disturbing. “It’s either part of some larger pedestrian plan that we’re only seeing in its broadest outlines or it’s some kind of sick addiction. Every day, the guy crosses 12 public byways before work, and that’s if he takes the most direct route to his place of employment. Then, for three to five hours, nothing. Under a thinly veiled pretense of getting lunch, he leaves the building and immediately walks to another intersection, waits for the light to change if necessary, and crosses, often in the company of other known pedestrians. And if you think that’s the last time he does so, I’m sorry, but you are simply deluding yourself. You should see the number of streets he crosses on his way home at night.” Sources speaking out on Jennings have asked to remain anonymous, noting that they live just a handful of street crossings away from the pedestrian. 
Go to full article
Published:
Source: The Onion




The Daily Mash
Humour
Are you sh*t at your job or is it all a Remainer plot?
27th June 2019 - 9.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Britain was great around the 2012 Olympics, idiots recall
27th June 2019 - 8.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How the UK’s immigration points system will work
27th June 2019 - 7.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
The office worker’s guide to having a depressing lunchtime ‘picnic’
26th June 2019 - 12.50 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Entire office rendered unable to work by knowledge of cake in kitchen
26th June 2019 - 11.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Older siblings great because they catch all the sh*t
26th June 2019 - 10.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Londoner hates everywhere outside of London too
26th June 2019 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
UK bins to stink ‘worse than bins in Ibiza’ this weekend
26th June 2019 - 9.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Kid late for school because mum was d*cking about on Facebook again
26th June 2019 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘They call me… The Busmaker’
26th June 2019 - 7.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Johnson pledges tax cut for unicorn breeders
25th June 2019 - 5.10 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
No-Deal Brexit recipes you can make without food
25th June 2019 - 2.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Couple stuck in passive-aggressive tit-for-tat wedding invite nightmare
25th June 2019 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How to accept you’re a ‘family festival’ person now
25th June 2019 - 10.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Ars*hole hosts make guests take their shoes off
25th June 2019 - 10.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
360-degree spinning sex swing was in Frogmore Cottage already, says Harry
25th June 2019 - 9.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
My track record of f**king things up and running away is irrelevant to my becoming prime minister
25th June 2019 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Man won’t read books written by women in case he turns into one
25th June 2019 - 7.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Close doors’ button on lift does f*ck all, admits engineer
24th June 2019 - 12.00 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘F**king grasses will get theirs when I’m PM’ vows Johnson
24th June 2019 - 10.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Quick, easy’ recipe from Guardian still being prepared eight days later
24th June 2019 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Duck fed on sourdough becoming unbearable
24th June 2019 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Rural pub adds second wine
24th June 2019 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Walking in same direction after saying goodbye ‘most stressful thing possible’
24th June 2019 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Five reasons why this chihuahua would be a better prime minister than Boris Johnson
24th June 2019 - 7.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Man who used washing up liquid in dishwasher honestly thinks he can live by himself
23rd June 2019 - 8.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Would you die for heavy metal? Take the test…
23rd June 2019 - 6.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman still using separate shampoo and conditioner like an arsehole
22nd June 2019 - 7.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Old work colleagues meet to trash old work colleagues
22nd June 2019 - 7.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Johnson’s charm officially runs out
22nd June 2019 - 7.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Cutest babies the worst sleepers, scientists confirm
21st June 2019 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Ed Sheeran wondering what to ruin next
21st June 2019 - 10.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Are you a member of the Conservative party or a Bond villain?
21st June 2019 - 10.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Britain wonders if any television will ever be big enough
21st June 2019 - 9.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Tory MP apologises for letting Greenpeace protester live
21st June 2019 - 8.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Which of these men will be Britain’s last Tory prime minister?
21st June 2019 - 7.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman unsure if she’s in hipster café or millennial office
20th June 2019 - 11.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Plan to get ripped for summer put off until August
20th June 2019 - 10.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Britain not drunk enough to accept Boris Johnson will be next prime minister
20th June 2019 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Worst person you know sharing inspirational quotes again
20th June 2019 - 9.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Visit to independent record shop instantly regretted
20th June 2019 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
The Tory arsehole’s guide to jogging
20th June 2019 - 7.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Pink balloon threatens human
19th June 2019 - 12.30 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Weedy boys to team up against school bully
19th June 2019 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman who tells everyone to ‘grow up’ sounds like a teenager
19th June 2019 - 10.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How to have a pointlessly pretentious and expensive barbecue
19th June 2019 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Tory candidates agree that they’ve totally f*cked up Britain
19th June 2019 - 9.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Being environmentally conscious great way of annoying parents, ten-year-olds discover
19th June 2019 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Which lies are you willing to believe from Boris Johnson?
19th June 2019 - 7.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Anxious nation cheered by Raab’s dismal failure
18th June 2019 - 5.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Onion
Humour
13.5 Million Americans Tune In To Watch Animal Planet’s ‘Puppy Parlay’ During DNC Debate Halftime Show
27th June 2019 - 2.27 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Presidential Debate Sidetracked By Booker, De Blasio Arguing About Best Place In Lower Manhattan To Get Tapas
27th June 2019 - 1.59 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Tim Ryan Attempting To Stand Out From Other Candidates On Debate Stage By Wearing Blue Power Ranger Costume
27th June 2019 - 1.38 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Lester Holt Begins Debate By Reiterating He Doesn’t Know Who These Fucking People Are
27th June 2019 - 1.05 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Chuck Todd Extensively Preparing To Accept Whatever Candidates Say At Face Value Without Any Follow-Up Questions
27th June 2019 - 12.52 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Norfolk Tides Third Baseman Sent Down To Baltimore Orioles
26th June 2019 - 8.05 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Americans Tune Into First Democratic Debates
26th June 2019 - 7.42 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Pence Declines To Say Whether Climate Change A Threat
26th June 2019 - 6.19 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
10 Indie Games That Were So Heartbreakingly Pitiful We Decided To Throw Them A Bone
26th June 2019 - 5.45 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
What To Expect In The First Democratic Debates
26th June 2019 - 4.44 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
5 Things To Know About John Delaney
26th June 2019 - 4.06 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: Doing Your Part To Stop Climate Change Now Requires Planting 30,000 New Trees, Getting 40,000 Cars Off The Road, Reviving 20 Square Miles Of Coral Reef
26th June 2019 - 1.13 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Ruthlessly Scolds Other Man Online For Having Opinion He Held Less Than 2 Years Ago
26th June 2019 - 1.07 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Elderly Man Looks Even Sadder When Smiling
26th June 2019 - 12.51 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Congress Reaches Compromise To Admit District Of Columbia Into Union As Slave State
26th June 2019 - 12.42 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
U.S. Imposes New Sanctions On Iran
26th June 2019 - 12.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Review: ‘Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled’ Delivers Speed, Savagery, And Fun I Haven’t Felt Since My Third DUI
25th June 2019 - 5.03 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 25, 2019
25th June 2019 - 4.30 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
‘I Just Want A Substantive, Issues-Oriented Democratic Debate,’ Lie Thousands Of Americans Hungry For Unhinged Trainwreck
25th June 2019 - 1.28 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Confirms Pence As 2020 Running Mate
25th June 2019 - 1.23 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: Only 260,000 More Games Of ‘Candy Crush’ Until You Die
25th June 2019 - 1.17 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Paul Manafort Trying To Ferment Vintage Cheval Blanc In Toilet Tank
25th June 2019 - 1.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Soldiering On ... And On ...
25th June 2019 - 12.59 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Aretha Franklin Institute For Female Entrepreneurship Confirms Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves
25th June 2019 - 12.47 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Bolton Says Military Action Still On The Table
24th June 2019 - 8.36 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Gaming Addict Attempting To Slowly Wean Self Off Of Real Life
24th June 2019 - 6.37 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Giannis Antetokounmpo Credits Success To Early Days Playing Against Greek Gods
24th June 2019 - 3.59 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Obesity Rates Falling Among U.S. Preschoolers
24th June 2019 - 3.38 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
John Bolton Urges War Against The Sun After Uncovering Evidence It Has Nuclear Capabilities
24th June 2019 - 3.15 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Wretched Outcast Woman With Combination Skin Forever Trapped Between Dry And Oily Worlds
24th June 2019 - 2.46 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
5 Things To Know About Tulsi Gabbard
24th June 2019 - 1.15 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Hero Coworker Contributes Single Tissue To Water Spill Cleanup Efforts At Next Desk
24th June 2019 - 1.12 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Nenê Wins NBA’s Tenth Man Of The Year Award
24th June 2019 - 1.09 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Nation’s Men Holding Acoustic Guitars Announce Plan To Idly Strum While You Try To Talk To Them
24th June 2019 - 1.08 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
The Week In Pictures – Week Of June 24, 2019
24th June 2019 - 12.53 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
EPA Weakens U.S. Climate Change Plan
21st June 2019 - 7.39 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Remembers It Summer Solstice After Noticing Group Of Pagans Fucking In Ring Of Fire On Way To Work
21st June 2019 - 6.21 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
How To Find The Best Cheap Eats In The Dumpsters Behind Los Angeles's Best Restaurants
21st June 2019 - 6.13 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Bolton Calls For Forceful Iranian Response To Continuing U.S. Aggression
21st June 2019 - 5.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
James Harden, Chris Paul Deny Rumors Of Discord, Say They Are Fully Committed To Team At State Farm
21st June 2019 - 4.46 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Hot Wheels Ranked Number One Toy For Rolling Down Ramp, Knocking Over Dominoes That Send Marble Down A Funnel, Dropping Onto Teeter-Totter That Yanks On String, Causing Pulley System To Raise Wooden Block, Propelling Series Of Twine Rollers That Unwind Spring, Launching Tennis Ball Across Room, Inching Tire Down Slope Until It Hits Power Switch, Activating Table Fan That Blows Toy Ship With Nail Attached To It Across Kiddie Pool, Popping Water Balloon That Fills Cup, Weighing Down Lever That For
21st June 2019 - 4.00 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Tips For Moving Back In With Your Parents
21st June 2019 - 1.51 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Get Down And Blog The Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Way!
21st June 2019 - 1.45 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
$1 Billion Worth Of Cocaine Seized
21st June 2019 - 1.32 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: Trying To Hug Oncoming Train Still Leading Cause Of Death For Nation’s Idiots
21st June 2019 - 1.29 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
‘The Lion King’ Turns 25
21st June 2019 - 1.25 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Fashion Designers Announce Plans to Wave With Both Hands, Bow Slightly
21st June 2019 - 1.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Woman Under Impression She Being Discreet About Fishing Stray Hair Out Of Bra
21st June 2019 - 1.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Little League Coach Just Washed-Up Former Little Leaguer
21st June 2019 - 12.55 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Knicks Front Office Scrambling After Zion Williamson Drafted Before 3rd Pick
20th June 2019 - 11.10 pm
Source: The Onion
Cracked
Humour
6 Movie and TV Easter Eggs Hidden In The Real World
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Shocking Ways People Turned Tragedies Into Cold, Hard Cash
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Old-Timey Theories About Health That Were Dumb AF
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Myspace Admits It Has Deleted All Of Your Stuff (Again)
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Lame Attempts to Make Action Heroes Look Badass
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Real Lesson of James Gunn Coming Back To 'Guardians 3'
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Impressive Scams People Used To Get Out Of Work
17th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Hilarious Ways Ads Tried To Make Boring Products Cool
16th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Real Colonel Sanders Was A Relentless, Amazing Maniac
16th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Stories That Prove Instagram Influencers Are The Worst
15th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Study: Hip-Hop Makes Your Cheese Taste Better (Seriously)
15th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Annoying Things They Don't Tell You About Being A Parent
15th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
How Normal People Do Things And How YOU Do Things
15th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Big Clues In The New Avengers Trailer (Are The Haircuts)
14th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Bryan Singer Dropped From 'Red Sonja' For The Worst Reason
14th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Behind-The-Scenes Shots That Take The Glamour Out Of Ads
14th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 New (And Strangely Plausible) Conspiracy Theories
14th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Netflix Is Making More Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Movies
13th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
7 Viral Stories That Had Twists Nobody Remembers
13th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Reasons The DC Film Universe Is Poised To Make A Comeback
13th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Here Are The Super Weird 'Captain Marvel' Ads You Missed
12th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Scary Stories That Sound Made Up (That Really Happened)
12th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Ted Bundy's Execution Party Was Completely Nuts
12th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Scientists Will Zap Prisoners' Brains To Make Them Behave
11th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Disney Vault Is Dead, Long Live Disney+
11th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Math Anxiety Is A Real Thing That’s Freaking You Out
11th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Foreign Reality Shows That Put American Ones To Shame
11th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 People Who Learned A Horrible Truth About Themselves On TV
10th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Natural Wonders That Are Creepier Than Any Horror Movie
9th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Bizarre, Terrifying Effects Of Sleep Deprivation
9th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Modern Countries That Are Acting Like Insane Supervillains
8th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
14 Dumb Health Products Pretending To Be Ancient Secrets
8th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
These 42 Characters Are Identical No Matter What They're In
8th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Goddamn It, Alex Trebek Has Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
A 'Game Of Thrones' Trailer Is Inspiring More Wacky Theories
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Reasons Famously Bad Movies Totally Sucked
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Crucial Things To Remember About Our Wretched Hellscape
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Films That Accidentally Made The Villain The Nicest Person
6th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Better Versions Of Superheroes We'll Hopefully Get Soon
6th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Disney's 'Star Wars' Menu Looks Kind Of Gross
5th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
'Fortnite' Erotica Says A Ton About The Future Of Gaming
5th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Steven Spielberg Wants To Destroy Netflix Movies
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
4 Viral Science News Stories The Media Totally Screwed Up
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Killing The Amazon Dash Button Will Only Make It Stronger
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Miracle Cures That Are Way Worse Than The Disease Itself
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Ways We Train Teenage Girls To Love Psychopaths
3rd March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The 5 Weirdest Schemes Real Countries Use To Pay The Bills
2nd March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Unhelpful Ways We Respond To A Friend In Crisis
2nd March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Weird Facts About Congress Nobody Told You In School
1st March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Ways Baby Boomers Keep Getting Worse
1st March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
News Thump
Humour
I'll nuke the whole bloody UK if we don't leave the EU by 31 October, promises Boris Johnson
27th June 2019 - 10.44 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Most Conservative Party members didn't watch digital hustings because their grandkids weren't around to help them log on
27th June 2019 - 9.54 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Jeremy Corbyn claims that some of his best friends are Jews
27th June 2019 - 9.18 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Queen refusing to let Charles have the top job until he ditches all that homeopathy bullshit
26th June 2019 - 1.51 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Glastonbury festival cancelled due to good weather
26th June 2019 - 12.07 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Bus paint man' horrifies nation as footage shows the terrible effects of past drug abuse
26th June 2019 - 11.58 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Considerate driver avoids blocking the bus lane by parking on the pavement
26th June 2019 - 11.24 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris painstakingly paints people into his wooden toy buses before sending them off a cliff
26th June 2019 - 9.52 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris reveals hobby of pretending to have hobbies
26th June 2019 - 8.46 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Man left confused when supermarket moved the eggs still believes he could have been a spy
25th June 2019 - 3.49 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Donald Trump attacks mayor of Midsomer on Twitter after latest spate of murders
25th June 2019 - 2.29 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
I would only sexually assault women I find attractive, insists Donald Trump
25th June 2019 - 11.42 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris agrees to debate Jeremy Hunt in November or December
25th June 2019 - 10.07 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Taxpayer funds Harry and Meghan's home renovation at bargain price of one MRI scanner
25th June 2019 - 9.31 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson releases pictures of him having full sex with partner to confirm all is normal
25th June 2019 - 9.13 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Referendum fought on 'democracy' to see nation get Prime Minister no-one voted for
24th June 2019 - 3.30 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
My political views are private and I will certainly not discuss them on television, says future Prime Minister
24th June 2019 - 2.52 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
John Prescott gives Grim Reaper a firm left hook
24th June 2019 - 2.34 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
De Beers diamond company announces move into lucrative pick 'n' mix business
24th June 2019 - 12.30 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Geoffrey Boycott insisting 'we survived two World Wars' reminded that many people didn't
24th June 2019 - 11.40 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson hoping Downing Street walls have been soundproofed
24th June 2019 - 10.47 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Philip Hammond admits to recording Theresa May arguing with husband about whether to watch NCIS or Midsomer Murders
24th June 2019 - 10.29 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Daily Telegraph launches "Don’t Make A Fuss" campaign on domestic violence
24th June 2019 - 9.04 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
I can negotiate free access to single market, insists man struggling to negotiate free access to girlfriend’s bed
23rd June 2019 - 1.55 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Police sent to Boris Johnson's home after his girlfriend threatened to walk behind him during dinner
22nd June 2019 - 12.15 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson refuses to accept his girlfriend telling him "leave means leave"
22nd June 2019 - 11.46 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson wakes from massive bender hoping he didn't do anything stupid
22nd June 2019 - 11.15 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Billy Joel found looking guilty with box of matches
22nd June 2019 - 10.22 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Man who already has a wardrobe full of Iron Maiden t-shirts just bought another
21st June 2019 - 7.24 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
New film 'Yesterday' depicts world where man wakes up and no one has heard of Brexit
21st June 2019 - 12.43 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Michael Gove to join Motley Crue
21st June 2019 - 10.07 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Mark Field buys 'This Is What A Feminist Looks Like' t-shirt
21st June 2019 - 9.30 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Tory minister leaps into action to bravely grab throat of woman threatening to use words he didn't like
21st June 2019 - 8.58 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Tory leadership battle reduced to Tw*t vs C*nt
20th June 2019 - 7.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Office worker reveals hatred of colleagues by changing email sign off from 'Kind Regards' to 'Regards'
20th June 2019 - 2.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Instead of further Tory leadership votes can we have a Thunderdome, asks everyone
20th June 2019 - 10.10 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Most Tory members would accept mass starvation if it got their grandkids to friend them on Facebook, reveals poll
20th June 2019 - 9.50 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Tories reject Rory Stewart's bold new vision of politicians telling the truth
20th June 2019 - 9.25 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Plans to graft Rory Stewart onto Michael Gove in order to combat Boris Johnson
19th June 2019 - 2.16 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
I know all about death warrants from my extensive training in the army, confirms Mark Francois
19th June 2019 - 12.43 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Comparing the EU to Hitler is the first step in getting them to give us a better deal, insists Boris
19th June 2019 - 12.09 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
BBC under fire for airing Frank Spencer audition tape instead of Tory leadership debate
19th June 2019 - 10.46 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson criticised for taking off his trousers during leadership debate
19th June 2019 - 10.16 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Daily Telegraph to change name to ‘The Boris Johnson Fan Club Newsletter’
19th June 2019 - 9.23 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Shock as former Brexit secretary who failed to deliver Brexit not trusted to deliver Brexit
18th June 2019 - 8.00 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
BBC contractually obliged to let Nigel Farage take part in televised Tory leadership debate
18th June 2019 - 2.34 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Forty-year-old man realises with horror he has no idea which remote control is which
18th June 2019 - 12.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
If I become prime minister all good guys will carry massive knives, says Jeremy Hunt
18th June 2019 - 11.36 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Every British household will be able to access Ashley Madison, promises Boris Johnson
18th June 2019 - 11.06 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Tory leadership debate to use Blind Date format
18th June 2019 - 10.09 am
Source: News Thump

            

Latest Article




Articles

HOUSTON—Observing that the man in question used seven crosswalks at a minimum on any given day, local sources confirmed Wednesday local pedestrian Brian Jennings, 33, has become obsessed with crossing the street. “At the last intersection, he put a lot of time and effort, relatively speaking, into crossing a street east-to-west—yet he had just crossed an intersecting street in south-to-north direction literally moments before! Where does this sort of behavior end?” said onlookers regarding the pedestrian, whose unknown motives for street-crossing have led him to cross avenues, roads, lanes, walkways, and at times even alleys in a pattern of behavior some are coming to regard as disturbing. “It’s either part of some larger pedestrian plan that we’re only seeing in its broadest outlines or it’s some kind of sick addiction. Every day, the guy crosses 12 public byways before work, and that’s if he takes the most direct route to his place of employment. Then, for three to five hours, nothing. Under a thinly veiled pretense of getting lunch, he leaves the building and immediately walks to another intersection, waits for the light to change if necessary, and crosses, often in the company of other known pedestrians. And if you think that’s the last time he does so, I’m sorry, but you are simply deluding yourself. You should see the number of streets he crosses on his way home at night.” Sources speaking out on Jennings have asked to remain anonymous, noting that they live just a handful of street crossings away from the pedestrian. 
Go to full article
Published: 27th June 2019 - 10.09 am
Source: The Onion


The Daily Mash
Humour
Are you sh*t at your job or is it all a Remainer plot?
27th June 2019 - 9.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Britain was great around the 2012 Olympics, idiots recall
27th June 2019 - 8.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How the UK’s immigration points system will work
27th June 2019 - 7.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
The office worker’s guide to having a depressing lunchtime ‘picnic’
26th June 2019 - 12.50 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Entire office rendered unable to work by knowledge of cake in kitchen
26th June 2019 - 11.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Older siblings great because they catch all the sh*t
26th June 2019 - 10.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Londoner hates everywhere outside of London too
26th June 2019 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
UK bins to stink ‘worse than bins in Ibiza’ this weekend
26th June 2019 - 9.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Kid late for school because mum was d*cking about on Facebook again
26th June 2019 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘They call me… The Busmaker’
26th June 2019 - 7.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Johnson pledges tax cut for unicorn breeders
25th June 2019 - 5.10 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
No-Deal Brexit recipes you can make without food
25th June 2019 - 2.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Couple stuck in passive-aggressive tit-for-tat wedding invite nightmare
25th June 2019 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How to accept you’re a ‘family festival’ person now
25th June 2019 - 10.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Ars*hole hosts make guests take their shoes off
25th June 2019 - 10.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
360-degree spinning sex swing was in Frogmore Cottage already, says Harry
25th June 2019 - 9.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
My track record of f**king things up and running away is irrelevant to my becoming prime minister
25th June 2019 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Man won’t read books written by women in case he turns into one
25th June 2019 - 7.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Close doors’ button on lift does f*ck all, admits engineer
24th June 2019 - 12.00 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘F**king grasses will get theirs when I’m PM’ vows Johnson
24th June 2019 - 10.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Quick, easy’ recipe from Guardian still being prepared eight days later
24th June 2019 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Duck fed on sourdough becoming unbearable
24th June 2019 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Rural pub adds second wine
24th June 2019 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Walking in same direction after saying goodbye ‘most stressful thing possible’
24th June 2019 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Five reasons why this chihuahua would be a better prime minister than Boris Johnson
24th June 2019 - 7.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Man who used washing up liquid in dishwasher honestly thinks he can live by himself
23rd June 2019 - 8.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Would you die for heavy metal? Take the test…
23rd June 2019 - 6.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman still using separate shampoo and conditioner like an arsehole
22nd June 2019 - 7.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Old work colleagues meet to trash old work colleagues
22nd June 2019 - 7.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Johnson’s charm officially runs out
22nd June 2019 - 7.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Cutest babies the worst sleepers, scientists confirm
21st June 2019 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Ed Sheeran wondering what to ruin next
21st June 2019 - 10.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Are you a member of the Conservative party or a Bond villain?
21st June 2019 - 10.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Britain wonders if any television will ever be big enough
21st June 2019 - 9.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Tory MP apologises for letting Greenpeace protester live
21st June 2019 - 8.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Which of these men will be Britain’s last Tory prime minister?
21st June 2019 - 7.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman unsure if she’s in hipster café or millennial office
20th June 2019 - 11.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Plan to get ripped for summer put off until August
20th June 2019 - 10.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Britain not drunk enough to accept Boris Johnson will be next prime minister
20th June 2019 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Worst person you know sharing inspirational quotes again
20th June 2019 - 9.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Visit to independent record shop instantly regretted
20th June 2019 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
The Tory arsehole’s guide to jogging
20th June 2019 - 7.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Pink balloon threatens human
19th June 2019 - 12.30 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Weedy boys to team up against school bully
19th June 2019 - 11.30 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman who tells everyone to ‘grow up’ sounds like a teenager
19th June 2019 - 10.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How to have a pointlessly pretentious and expensive barbecue
19th June 2019 - 9.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Tory candidates agree that they’ve totally f*cked up Britain
19th June 2019 - 9.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Being environmentally conscious great way of annoying parents, ten-year-olds discover
19th June 2019 - 8.20 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Which lies are you willing to believe from Boris Johnson?
19th June 2019 - 7.40 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Anxious nation cheered by Raab’s dismal failure
18th June 2019 - 5.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Onion
Humour
13.5 Million Americans Tune In To Watch Animal Planet’s ‘Puppy Parlay’ During DNC Debate Halftime Show
27th June 2019 - 2.27 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Presidential Debate Sidetracked By Booker, De Blasio Arguing About Best Place In Lower Manhattan To Get Tapas
27th June 2019 - 1.59 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Tim Ryan Attempting To Stand Out From Other Candidates On Debate Stage By Wearing Blue Power Ranger Costume
27th June 2019 - 1.38 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Lester Holt Begins Debate By Reiterating He Doesn’t Know Who These Fucking People Are
27th June 2019 - 1.05 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Chuck Todd Extensively Preparing To Accept Whatever Candidates Say At Face Value Without Any Follow-Up Questions
27th June 2019 - 12.52 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Norfolk Tides Third Baseman Sent Down To Baltimore Orioles
26th June 2019 - 8.05 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Americans Tune Into First Democratic Debates
26th June 2019 - 7.42 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Pence Declines To Say Whether Climate Change A Threat
26th June 2019 - 6.19 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
10 Indie Games That Were So Heartbreakingly Pitiful We Decided To Throw Them A Bone
26th June 2019 - 5.45 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
What To Expect In The First Democratic Debates
26th June 2019 - 4.44 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
5 Things To Know About John Delaney
26th June 2019 - 4.06 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: Doing Your Part To Stop Climate Change Now Requires Planting 30,000 New Trees, Getting 40,000 Cars Off The Road, Reviving 20 Square Miles Of Coral Reef
26th June 2019 - 1.13 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Ruthlessly Scolds Other Man Online For Having Opinion He Held Less Than 2 Years Ago
26th June 2019 - 1.07 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Elderly Man Looks Even Sadder When Smiling
26th June 2019 - 12.51 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Congress Reaches Compromise To Admit District Of Columbia Into Union As Slave State
26th June 2019 - 12.42 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
U.S. Imposes New Sanctions On Iran
26th June 2019 - 12.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Review: ‘Crash Team Racing Nitro-Fueled’ Delivers Speed, Savagery, And Fun I Haven’t Felt Since My Third DUI
25th June 2019 - 5.03 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 25, 2019
25th June 2019 - 4.30 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
‘I Just Want A Substantive, Issues-Oriented Democratic Debate,’ Lie Thousands Of Americans Hungry For Unhinged Trainwreck
25th June 2019 - 1.28 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Confirms Pence As 2020 Running Mate
25th June 2019 - 1.23 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: Only 260,000 More Games Of ‘Candy Crush’ Until You Die
25th June 2019 - 1.17 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Paul Manafort Trying To Ferment Vintage Cheval Blanc In Toilet Tank
25th June 2019 - 1.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Soldiering On ... And On ...
25th June 2019 - 12.59 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Aretha Franklin Institute For Female Entrepreneurship Confirms Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves
25th June 2019 - 12.47 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Bolton Says Military Action Still On The Table
24th June 2019 - 8.36 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Gaming Addict Attempting To Slowly Wean Self Off Of Real Life
24th June 2019 - 6.37 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Giannis Antetokounmpo Credits Success To Early Days Playing Against Greek Gods
24th June 2019 - 3.59 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Obesity Rates Falling Among U.S. Preschoolers
24th June 2019 - 3.38 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
John Bolton Urges War Against The Sun After Uncovering Evidence It Has Nuclear Capabilities
24th June 2019 - 3.15 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Wretched Outcast Woman With Combination Skin Forever Trapped Between Dry And Oily Worlds
24th June 2019 - 2.46 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
5 Things To Know About Tulsi Gabbard
24th June 2019 - 1.15 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Hero Coworker Contributes Single Tissue To Water Spill Cleanup Efforts At Next Desk
24th June 2019 - 1.12 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Nenê Wins NBA’s Tenth Man Of The Year Award
24th June 2019 - 1.09 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Nation’s Men Holding Acoustic Guitars Announce Plan To Idly Strum While You Try To Talk To Them
24th June 2019 - 1.08 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
The Week In Pictures – Week Of June 24, 2019
24th June 2019 - 12.53 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
EPA Weakens U.S. Climate Change Plan
21st June 2019 - 7.39 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Remembers It Summer Solstice After Noticing Group Of Pagans Fucking In Ring Of Fire On Way To Work
21st June 2019 - 6.21 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
How To Find The Best Cheap Eats In The Dumpsters Behind Los Angeles's Best Restaurants
21st June 2019 - 6.13 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Bolton Calls For Forceful Iranian Response To Continuing U.S. Aggression
21st June 2019 - 5.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
James Harden, Chris Paul Deny Rumors Of Discord, Say They Are Fully Committed To Team At State Farm
21st June 2019 - 4.46 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Hot Wheels Ranked Number One Toy For Rolling Down Ramp, Knocking Over Dominoes That Send Marble Down A Funnel, Dropping Onto Teeter-Totter That Yanks On String, Causing Pulley System To Raise Wooden Block, Propelling Series Of Twine Rollers That Unwind Spring, Launching Tennis Ball Across Room, Inching Tire Down Slope Until It Hits Power Switch, Activating Table Fan That Blows Toy Ship With Nail Attached To It Across Kiddie Pool, Popping Water Balloon That Fills Cup, Weighing Down Lever That For
21st June 2019 - 4.00 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Tips For Moving Back In With Your Parents
21st June 2019 - 1.51 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Get Down And Blog The Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Way!
21st June 2019 - 1.45 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
$1 Billion Worth Of Cocaine Seized
21st June 2019 - 1.32 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: Trying To Hug Oncoming Train Still Leading Cause Of Death For Nation’s Idiots
21st June 2019 - 1.29 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
‘The Lion King’ Turns 25
21st June 2019 - 1.25 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Fashion Designers Announce Plans to Wave With Both Hands, Bow Slightly
21st June 2019 - 1.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Woman Under Impression She Being Discreet About Fishing Stray Hair Out Of Bra
21st June 2019 - 1.02 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Little League Coach Just Washed-Up Former Little Leaguer
21st June 2019 - 12.55 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Knicks Front Office Scrambling After Zion Williamson Drafted Before 3rd Pick
20th June 2019 - 11.10 pm
Source: The Onion
Cracked
Humour
6 Movie and TV Easter Eggs Hidden In The Real World
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Shocking Ways People Turned Tragedies Into Cold, Hard Cash
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Old-Timey Theories About Health That Were Dumb AF
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Myspace Admits It Has Deleted All Of Your Stuff (Again)
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Lame Attempts to Make Action Heroes Look Badass
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Real Lesson of James Gunn Coming Back To 'Guardians 3'
18th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Impressive Scams People Used To Get Out Of Work
17th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Hilarious Ways Ads Tried To Make Boring Products Cool
16th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Real Colonel Sanders Was A Relentless, Amazing Maniac
16th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Stories That Prove Instagram Influencers Are The Worst
15th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Study: Hip-Hop Makes Your Cheese Taste Better (Seriously)
15th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Annoying Things They Don't Tell You About Being A Parent
15th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
How Normal People Do Things And How YOU Do Things
15th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Big Clues In The New Avengers Trailer (Are The Haircuts)
14th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Bryan Singer Dropped From 'Red Sonja' For The Worst Reason
14th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Behind-The-Scenes Shots That Take The Glamour Out Of Ads
14th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 New (And Strangely Plausible) Conspiracy Theories
14th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Netflix Is Making More Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Movies
13th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
7 Viral Stories That Had Twists Nobody Remembers
13th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Reasons The DC Film Universe Is Poised To Make A Comeback
13th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Here Are The Super Weird 'Captain Marvel' Ads You Missed
12th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Scary Stories That Sound Made Up (That Really Happened)
12th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Ted Bundy's Execution Party Was Completely Nuts
12th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Scientists Will Zap Prisoners' Brains To Make Them Behave
11th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Disney Vault Is Dead, Long Live Disney+
11th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Math Anxiety Is A Real Thing That’s Freaking You Out
11th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Foreign Reality Shows That Put American Ones To Shame
11th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 People Who Learned A Horrible Truth About Themselves On TV
10th March 2019 - 1.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Natural Wonders That Are Creepier Than Any Horror Movie
9th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Bizarre, Terrifying Effects Of Sleep Deprivation
9th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Modern Countries That Are Acting Like Insane Supervillains
8th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
14 Dumb Health Products Pretending To Be Ancient Secrets
8th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
These 42 Characters Are Identical No Matter What They're In
8th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Goddamn It, Alex Trebek Has Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
A 'Game Of Thrones' Trailer Is Inspiring More Wacky Theories
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Reasons Famously Bad Movies Totally Sucked
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Crucial Things To Remember About Our Wretched Hellscape
7th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Films That Accidentally Made The Villain The Nicest Person
6th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Better Versions Of Superheroes We'll Hopefully Get Soon
6th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Disney's 'Star Wars' Menu Looks Kind Of Gross
5th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
'Fortnite' Erotica Says A Ton About The Future Of Gaming
5th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Steven Spielberg Wants To Destroy Netflix Movies
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
4 Viral Science News Stories The Media Totally Screwed Up
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Killing The Amazon Dash Button Will Only Make It Stronger
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Miracle Cures That Are Way Worse Than The Disease Itself
4th March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Ways We Train Teenage Girls To Love Psychopaths
3rd March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The 5 Weirdest Schemes Real Countries Use To Pay The Bills
2nd March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Unhelpful Ways We Respond To A Friend In Crisis
2nd March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Weird Facts About Congress Nobody Told You In School
1st March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Ways Baby Boomers Keep Getting Worse
1st March 2019 - 2.10 pm
Source: Cracked
News Thump
Humour
I'll nuke the whole bloody UK if we don't leave the EU by 31 October, promises Boris Johnson
27th June 2019 - 10.44 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Most Conservative Party members didn't watch digital hustings because their grandkids weren't around to help them log on
27th June 2019 - 9.54 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Jeremy Corbyn claims that some of his best friends are Jews
27th June 2019 - 9.18 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Queen refusing to let Charles have the top job until he ditches all that homeopathy bullshit
26th June 2019 - 1.51 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Glastonbury festival cancelled due to good weather
26th June 2019 - 12.07 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Bus paint man' horrifies nation as footage shows the terrible effects of past drug abuse
26th June 2019 - 11.58 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Considerate driver avoids blocking the bus lane by parking on the pavement
26th June 2019 - 11.24 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris painstakingly paints people into his wooden toy buses before sending them off a cliff
26th June 2019 - 9.52 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris reveals hobby of pretending to have hobbies
26th June 2019 - 8.46 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Man left confused when supermarket moved the eggs still believes he could have been a spy
25th June 2019 - 3.49 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Donald Trump attacks mayor of Midsomer on Twitter after latest spate of murders
25th June 2019 - 2.29 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
I would only sexually assault women I find attractive, insists Donald Trump
25th June 2019 - 11.42 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris agrees to debate Jeremy Hunt in November or December
25th June 2019 - 10.07 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Taxpayer funds Harry and Meghan's home renovation at bargain price of one MRI scanner
25th June 2019 - 9.31 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson releases pictures of him having full sex with partner to confirm all is normal
25th June 2019 - 9.13 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Referendum fought on 'democracy' to see nation get Prime Minister no-one voted for
24th June 2019 - 3.30 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
My political views are private and I will certainly not discuss them on television, says future Prime Minister
24th June 2019 - 2.52 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
John Prescott gives Grim Reaper a firm left hook
24th June 2019 - 2.34 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
De Beers diamond company announces move into lucrative pick 'n' mix business
24th June 2019 - 12.30 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Geoffrey Boycott insisting 'we survived two World Wars' reminded that many people didn't
24th June 2019 - 11.40 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson hoping Downing Street walls have been soundproofed
24th June 2019 - 10.47 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Philip Hammond admits to recording Theresa May arguing with husband about whether to watch NCIS or Midsomer Murders
24th June 2019 - 10.29 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Daily Telegraph launches "Don’t Make A Fuss" campaign on domestic violence
24th June 2019 - 9.04 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
I can negotiate free access to single market, insists man struggling to negotiate free access to girlfriend’s bed
23rd June 2019 - 1.55 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Police sent to Boris Johnson's home after his girlfriend threatened to walk behind him during dinner
22nd June 2019 - 12.15 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson refuses to accept his girlfriend telling him "leave means leave"
22nd June 2019 - 11.46 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson wakes from massive bender hoping he didn't do anything stupid
22nd June 2019 - 11.15 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Billy Joel found looking guilty with box of matches
22nd June 2019 - 10.22 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Man who already has a wardrobe full of Iron Maiden t-shirts just bought another
21st June 2019 - 7.24 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
New film 'Yesterday' depicts world where man wakes up and no one has heard of Brexit
21st June 2019 - 12.43 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Michael Gove to join Motley Crue
21st June 2019 - 10.07 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Mark Field buys 'This Is What A Feminist Looks Like' t-shirt
21st June 2019 - 9.30 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Tory minister leaps into action to bravely grab throat of woman threatening to use words he didn't like
21st June 2019 - 8.58 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Tory leadership battle reduced to Tw*t vs C*nt
20th June 2019 - 7.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Office worker reveals hatred of colleagues by changing email sign off from 'Kind Regards' to 'Regards'
20th June 2019 - 2.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Instead of further Tory leadership votes can we have a Thunderdome, asks everyone
20th June 2019 - 10.10 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Most Tory members would accept mass starvation if it got their grandkids to friend them on Facebook, reveals poll
20th June 2019 - 9.50 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Tories reject Rory Stewart's bold new vision of politicians telling the truth
20th June 2019 - 9.25 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Plans to graft Rory Stewart onto Michael Gove in order to combat Boris Johnson
19th June 2019 - 2.16 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
I know all about death warrants from my extensive training in the army, confirms Mark Francois
19th June 2019 - 12.43 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Comparing the EU to Hitler is the first step in getting them to give us a better deal, insists Boris
19th June 2019 - 12.09 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
BBC under fire for airing Frank Spencer audition tape instead of Tory leadership debate
19th June 2019 - 10.46 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Boris Johnson criticised for taking off his trousers during leadership debate
19th June 2019 - 10.16 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Daily Telegraph to change name to ‘The Boris Johnson Fan Club Newsletter’
19th June 2019 - 9.23 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Shock as former Brexit secretary who failed to deliver Brexit not trusted to deliver Brexit
18th June 2019 - 8.00 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
BBC contractually obliged to let Nigel Farage take part in televised Tory leadership debate
18th June 2019 - 2.34 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Forty-year-old man realises with horror he has no idea which remote control is which
18th June 2019 - 12.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
If I become prime minister all good guys will carry massive knives, says Jeremy Hunt
18th June 2019 - 11.36 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Every British household will be able to access Ashley Madison, promises Boris Johnson
18th June 2019 - 11.06 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Tory leadership debate to use Blind Date format
18th June 2019 - 10.09 am
Source: News Thump


Zerchoo Daily Update Sign Up.

This is what you will get:

  • A Zerchoo Daily Update email
  • News and updates from Zerchoo
  • Unsubscride from Zerchoo at any time

By signing up, you agree to receive a Zerchoo Daily Update email, news and updates from Zerchoo and you agree to the Zerchoo Terms and Conditions. You may unsubscribe at any time