The Daily Mash   Humour

THE news that cycling cuts the risk of cancer by half has given cyclists another reason to be insufferably smug, it has emerged. Go to full article
Published: 21st April 2017 - 8.41 am
Source: The Daily Mash



The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Cosplay not just fancy dress’ says man dressed as Chewbacca or maybe some kind of hairy elf
16th August 2017 - 12.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Everyone agrees to pretend dubstep didn’t happen
16th August 2017 - 12.40 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman giving herself pep talk in mirror accidentally summons Morrissey
16th August 2017 - 9.31 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How much money would it take for you to just f**k off? world asks Trump
16th August 2017 - 7.58 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Parents practising shocked expressions ahead of son’s shit A-level results
16th August 2017 - 8.46 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Cat judging owner for taking it out on lead
15th August 2017 - 11.36 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
White supremacists ‘commemorate the past’ by living with their parents
15th August 2017 - 10.07 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
DVD still not working despite being wiped on man’s trouser leg 

15th August 2017 - 11.12 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Davis trying to sneak old Ford Fiesta he can’t shift into Brexit deal 

15th August 2017 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Despotic lunatic forces women to become ‘maids’ and wear matching uniforms
15th August 2017 - 8.18 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Usual dicks making idiotic fuss over maintenance of large bell
15th August 2017 - 8.37 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Gluten-free brownies mostly compost
14th August 2017 - 1.17 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Passengers desperate to know backstory of bus drivers who didn’t wave to each other
14th August 2017 - 11.32 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Threatening nuclear war no longer the worst thing Trump has done this week
14th August 2017 - 10.19 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
I like people who shout ‘Hail Trump’, confirms Trump
14th August 2017 - 7.46 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Sharting’ to be renamed ‘Faraging’
14th August 2017 - 8.06 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Hunt uses same plumber who installed NHS IT system
14th August 2017 - 8.35 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Old guy who is always in pub still not saying hello
13th August 2017 - 10.55 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Pretentious couple convinced they are turning Scandinavian
12th August 2017 - 9.32 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Google returns no search results for ‘sexism’ and ‘tax’
12th August 2017 - 10.43 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Men claiming to have attended disastrous music festivals to impress girls
11th August 2017 - 12.31 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Contaminated eggs give you an egg for a head
11th August 2017 - 7.52 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Trump does not know difference between international diplomacy and Wrestlemania
11th August 2017 - 8.17 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Scottish Conservatives announce Tory T in the Park
11th August 2017 - 8.49 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Banknotes to be kept delicious
11th August 2017 - 9.36 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Onion
Humour
Baltimore Pigeons Shocked To Find Beloved Shitting Statues Gone
16th August 2017 - 5.01 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Study Finds 1 In 8 Americans Abusing Alcohol
16th August 2017 - 3.28 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Local Grandmother Feared Dead After Appearing In Woman'€™s Profile Picture
16th August 2017 - 2.49 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Who Stood And Watched Robbery Acted On Pure Instinct
16th August 2017 - 2.40 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Blasts Critics Who Judge Neo-Nazi Groups By Most Extreme Members
15th August 2017 - 11.07 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Warns Removing Confederate Statues Could Be Slippery Slope To Eliminating Racism Entirely
15th August 2017 - 11.06 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump: '€˜There Is Hatred On Both Sides Of My Heart'€™
15th August 2017 - 10.50 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
What Is Trump'€™s Relationship With White Nationalism?
15th August 2017 - 9.13 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Google, GoDaddy Pull Registration For Neo-Nazi Site
15th August 2017 - 8.50 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job
15th August 2017 - 6.47 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Disgusted Robert Mueller Eats 2 20-Piece Chicken McNugget Meals In One Sitting In Attempt To Get Into Trump'€™s Mind
15th August 2017 - 6.27 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Golden State Worriers
15th August 2017 - 6.06 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
President'€™s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival
15th August 2017 - 5.18 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
The Dark Web Sucks Now That My Mom Is On It
15th August 2017 - 4.26 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Contents Of The Voyager Golden Record
15th August 2017 - 3.47 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Your Horoscopes '€” Week Of August 15, 2017
15th August 2017 - 3.53 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
'€˜Sex And The City'€™ Star Considering NY Governor Run
15th August 2017 - 3.10 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
No One Quite Sure Why 8-Year-Old Has Voice Of Lifelong Chain Smoker
15th August 2017 - 2.42 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Condo Board Member Thinks Bylaw Cover-Up Might Go All The Way To Deb
15th August 2017 - 2.27 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Amazon Issues Refunds For Counterfeit Eclipse Glasses
14th August 2017 - 10.06 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Waiting To See How Few More Decades Of Racial Violence Play Out Before Taking Action
14th August 2017 - 8.17 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Charlottesville Suspect Might Have Received Tacit Support From High-Level Government Figure
14th August 2017 - 5.34 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Cleveland Browns Players Amazed By Star Rookie Comfortable Walking Around Shirtless
14th August 2017 - 5.07 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Target '€˜Dorm Room Essentials'€™ Aisle Being Browsed Exclusively By 30-Year-Old Men With Studio Apartments
14th August 2017 - 5.09 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
White Nationalists: Do They Have A Hidden Agenda?
14th August 2017 - 5.11 pm
Source: The Onion
Cracked
Humour
Why We Hope Disney's Streaming Service Fails
15th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Ways Hollywood's Freaking Awful At Predicting The Future
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Movie Genres Hollywood Now Just Plain Sucks At
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Incredibly Creepy Things That Hollywood Finds Romantic
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
I Am A Bee Detective. (Yes, That Is A Real Thing.)
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
School Offers $100 For Front Place In Lunch Line
14th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why Getting Hacked Is The Best Thing That's Happened To HBO
14th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why Time Travel Wouldn’t Work For Everyone
14th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Insanely Important Things We Never Make Movies About
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Famous Corpses That Ended Up In Totally Random Places
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Reasons Pokemon Gold Is Way Darker Than You Think
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Become A Hotshot Developer And Watch Your Money Tree Grow
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
We Could've Avoided Trump By Listening To George Washington
13th August 2017 - 1.06 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Drug Taste-Tester: 5 Totally Legal Jobs You Can Actually Get
14th August 2017 - 1.06 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Celebrities Whose Lives Got Ruined By Their Movies
14th August 2017 - 1.06 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
'Back To School' Guides Have Lost Their Freaking Minds
14th August 2017 - 1.06 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Donald Trump Has Proven The Existence Of The Multiverse
12th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
7 Tales Of Rock Star Sex And Debauchery (That Are Pure WTF)
13th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Rob Lowe Survived Bigfoot: 6 Celebs Who- Wait, WHAT?
13th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Weirdly Specific Things Movies Thinks People In Bathrooms
13th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Become The Busiest Worker Bee With These 7 Courses
13th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why Alien Abductees Are Wrong, But Not Lying
11th August 2017 - 1.00 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
I Get What Chefs Need (Even If It's Pet Store Guinea Pigs)
12th August 2017 - 1.00 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Books That Were WAY Darker Than Their Movie Adaptations
12th August 2017 - 1.00 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Game of Thrones Finally Unleashed The Dragons!
10th August 2017 - 1.22 pm
Source: Cracked
News Thump
Humour
James Bond to make a return to "deal with all this shit"
16th August 2017 - 6.02 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
You need to spend £44k on a decent washroom when you have this much blood on your hands, claims Jeremy Hunt
16th August 2017 - 5.58 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
You can't put a price on sovereignty, say people who won't live long enough to pay for it
16th August 2017 - 3.17 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Co-worker inexplicably thinks you're interested in hearing about their commute
16th August 2017 - 1.31 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Watch Morecambe and Wise until you calm down' planet told
16th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Donald Trump says Rebel Alliance must also take blame for violence as Death Star had all the required permits
16th August 2017 - 11.54 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Aircraft carriers named after Royal Family because they're a huge waste of money, confirms MoD
16th August 2017 - 10.35 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Nigel Farage: The Movie' to chronicle former UKIP leader's epic quest to fully enter Donald Trump's colon
16th August 2017 - 9.51 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Red Skull just standing up for free speech, says HYDRA spokesman
16th August 2017 - 9.26 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
UK Brexit paper proposes 'magic' Irish border staffed by fairies
16th August 2017 - 9.11 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Donald Trump's Manufacturing Council now just him and man who outsourced his clothing line to China
15th August 2017 - 6.46 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Scottish baby boxes to come pre-filled with cans of Irn-Bru and Greggs steak slices
15th August 2017 - 5.52 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Child unhappy with aerodynamic properties of Daddy's shiny black frisbees
15th August 2017 - 5.31 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'No pun intended' man finally confesses that pun was deliberate
15th August 2017 - 1.08 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Kim Jong-Un boldly wets himself
15th August 2017 - 12.13 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Regulated rail fares to rise from 'Outrageous' to 'Exorbitant'
15th August 2017 - 11.32 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Man photographed enthusiastically waving flaming torch at a Nazi rally unhappy at people calling him a Nazi
15th August 2017 - 11.22 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Archmaester under fire after taking two days to denounce White Walkers
15th August 2017 - 10.57 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Primark actually pronounced ‘Child-labour-mark’
15th August 2017 - 10.36 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Everyone successfully forgotten about that Grenfell Tower business
15th August 2017 - 10.23 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Americans delighted President Trump chose to sleep on it before denouncing violent racists as evil
14th August 2017 - 6.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Trump finally condemns White Supremacists after a neo-Nazi claims more people attended Obama's inauguration
14th August 2017 - 2.04 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Citronella Tiki Torches keen to disassociate themselves from Alt-Right movement
14th August 2017 - 11.54 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Jeremy Hunt's new toilet just two full-time NHS nurses following him around with a bedpan
14th August 2017 - 11.30 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
David Miliband calls for a second vote on the 2010 Labour leadership election
14th August 2017 - 11.03 am
Source: News Thump