The Daily Mash   Humour

BRITAIN has confirmed it is panting like a dog and that hot weather is stupid and wrong. Go to full article
Published: 19th June 2017 - 11.16 am
Source: The Daily Mash



The Daily Mash
Humour
45-year-old man finally accepts that some people like rap music
17th August 2017 - 2.16 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Successful A-Level student to mention results every day for rest of life
17th August 2017 - 9.56 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
UK celebrates record number of shit jobs
17th August 2017 - 8.38 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Paul Dacre swinging Quasimodo-like from Big Ben
17th August 2017 - 8.54 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Trump to chew long piece of grass while holding shotgun across his shoulders
17th August 2017 - 9.25 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Cosplay not just fancy dress’ says man dressed as Chewbacca or maybe some kind of hairy elf
16th August 2017 - 12.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Everyone agrees to pretend dubstep didn’t happen
16th August 2017 - 12.40 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman giving herself pep talk in mirror accidentally summons Morrissey
16th August 2017 - 9.31 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How much money would it take for you to just f**k off? world asks Trump
16th August 2017 - 7.58 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Parents practising shocked expressions ahead of son’s shit A-level results
16th August 2017 - 8.46 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Cat judging owner for taking it out on lead
15th August 2017 - 11.36 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
White supremacists ‘commemorate the past’ by living with their parents
15th August 2017 - 10.07 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
DVD still not working despite being wiped on man’s trouser leg 

15th August 2017 - 11.12 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Davis trying to sneak old Ford Fiesta he can’t shift into Brexit deal 

15th August 2017 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Despotic lunatic forces women to become ‘maids’ and wear matching uniforms
15th August 2017 - 8.18 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Usual dicks making idiotic fuss over maintenance of large bell
15th August 2017 - 8.37 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Gluten-free brownies mostly compost
14th August 2017 - 1.17 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Passengers desperate to know backstory of bus drivers who didn’t wave to each other
14th August 2017 - 11.32 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Threatening nuclear war no longer the worst thing Trump has done this week
14th August 2017 - 10.19 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
I like people who shout ‘Hail Trump’, confirms Trump
14th August 2017 - 7.46 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Sharting’ to be renamed ‘Faraging’
14th August 2017 - 8.06 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Hunt uses same plumber who installed NHS IT system
14th August 2017 - 8.35 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Old guy who is always in pub still not saying hello
13th August 2017 - 10.55 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Pretentious couple convinced they are turning Scandinavian
12th August 2017 - 9.32 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Google returns no search results for ‘sexism’ and ‘tax’
12th August 2017 - 10.43 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Onion
Humour
Man Misidentified As Charlottesville Terrorist Suing Right-Wing News Sites
17th August 2017 - 10.18 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Worried Favorite Jedi Died After Seeing '€˜Obi-Wan Kenobi'€™ Trending
17th August 2017 - 9.50 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Inverted Bob Added To Supercuts Arctic Vault Where Hairstyles Preserved For Future Generations
17th August 2017 - 9.03 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Aides Say Bannon Was Not On The Record When He Issued Deafening, Atonal Howl That Caused Journalist'€™s Skull To Explode
17th August 2017 - 8.28 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Inspires Thousands Of Kids To Believe They Could One Day Grow Up To Be President Of Confederacy
17th August 2017 - 8.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Malala Can Tell Oxford Paired Her With Roommate Just Because They'€™re Both Nobel Laureates
17th August 2017 - 7.45 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Nation Rallies Around Ronald McDonald Statue That Embodies Country'€™s True Heritage
17th August 2017 - 7.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Girlfriend Surprises Rob Gronkowski With Relaxing Couple'€™s CAT Scan
17th August 2017 - 6.21 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Study Finds Expressing Anger In Unhealthy Ways Actually Incredibly Satisfying
17th August 2017 - 6.03 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump'€™s Childhood Home Listed On Airbnb
17th August 2017 - 2.59 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
In Final Machiavellian Masterstoke, Area Woman Adds '€˜No Gifts, Please'€™ To Bottom Of Invitation
17th August 2017 - 2.36 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Parent Now Just Typing 4-Year-Old Child'€™s Every Word Verbatim Throughout Day As Facebook Post
17th August 2017 - 10.01 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Disney Unveils Plans For '€˜Immersive'€™ Star Wars Hotel
16th August 2017 - 9.34 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Cat Who Seems A Little Grumpy Today Dying Of Esophageal Cancer
16th August 2017 - 7.55 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Panicked John Kelly Ushers Half-Naked Trump Away From Podium As President Shouts Support For Eugenics
16th August 2017 - 6.34 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
A Timeline Of Elvis Presley'€™s Life
16th August 2017 - 6.14 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Area Man Will Be Judge Of Whether Woman Actually True Baseball Fan
16th August 2017 - 5.32 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Larry Fitzgerald Confident He Has Couple Lousy Seasons That Undercut Entire Career Left In Him
16th August 2017 - 5.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Baltimore Pigeons Shocked To Find Beloved Shitting Statues Gone
16th August 2017 - 5.01 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Study Finds 1 In 8 Americans Abusing Alcohol
16th August 2017 - 3.28 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Local Grandmother Feared Dead After Appearing In Woman'€™s Profile Picture
16th August 2017 - 2.49 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Who Stood And Watched Robbery Acted On Pure Instinct
16th August 2017 - 2.40 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Blasts Critics Who Judge Neo-Nazi Groups By Most Extreme Members
15th August 2017 - 11.07 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Warns Removing Confederate Statues Could Be Slippery Slope To Eliminating Racism Entirely
15th August 2017 - 11.06 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump: '€˜There Is Hatred On Both Sides Of My Heart'€™
15th August 2017 - 10.50 pm
Source: The Onion
Cracked
Humour
Why The Wizard Of Oz Is Worse Than You Remember
16th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Famous Movie Villains Who Half-Assed Their Evil Schemes
17th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Filmmakers Who Secretly Ripped Off Their Own Work
17th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Most Important Things You Need To Know On Thursday 8/19
17th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Failed Sports That Were Clearly Created By Psychopaths
17th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why We Hope Disney's Streaming Service Fails
15th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Ways Hollywood's Freaking Awful At Predicting The Future
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Movie Genres Hollywood Now Just Plain Sucks At
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Incredibly Creepy Things That Hollywood Finds Romantic
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
I Am A Bee Detective. (Yes, That Is A Real Thing.)
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
School Offers $100 For Front Place In Lunch Line
14th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why Getting Hacked Is The Best Thing That's Happened To HBO
14th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why Time Travel Wouldn’t Work For Everyone
14th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Insanely Important Things We Never Make Movies About
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Famous Corpses That Ended Up In Totally Random Places
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Reasons Pokemon Gold Is Way Darker Than You Think
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Become A Hotshot Developer And Watch Your Money Tree Grow
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
We Could've Avoided Trump By Listening To George Washington
13th August 2017 - 1.06 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Drug Taste-Tester: 5 Totally Legal Jobs You Can Actually Get
14th August 2017 - 1.06 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Celebrities Whose Lives Got Ruined By Their Movies
14th August 2017 - 1.06 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
'Back To School' Guides Have Lost Their Freaking Minds
14th August 2017 - 1.06 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Donald Trump Has Proven The Existence Of The Multiverse
12th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
7 Tales Of Rock Star Sex And Debauchery (That Are Pure WTF)
13th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Rob Lowe Survived Bigfoot: 6 Celebs Who- Wait, WHAT?
13th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Weirdly Specific Things Movies Thinks People In Bathrooms
13th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
News Thump
Humour
Littlehampton branch of Wimpy misses out on Good Food Guide restaurant of the year yet again
17th August 2017 - 6.07 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Saving Private Ryan branded 'alt-left propaganda'
17th August 2017 - 5.27 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Staunch egalitarian Sarah Champion distances herself from notorious race-baiter Sarah Champion
17th August 2017 - 12.00 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Daily Mail celebrates 'Barely legal sexy girls getting exam results' day
17th August 2017 - 9.26 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Walnut Whips to be renamed Brexit Whips
16th August 2017 - 6.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
James Bond to make a return to "deal with all this shit"
16th August 2017 - 6.02 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
You need to spend £44k on a decent washroom when you have this much blood on your hands, claims Jeremy Hunt
16th August 2017 - 5.58 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
You can't put a price on sovereignty, say people who won't live long enough to pay for it
16th August 2017 - 3.17 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Co-worker inexplicably thinks you're interested in hearing about their commute
16th August 2017 - 1.31 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Watch Morecambe and Wise until you calm down' planet told
16th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Donald Trump says Rebel Alliance must also take blame for violence as Death Star had all the required permits
16th August 2017 - 11.54 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Aircraft carriers named after Royal Family because they're a huge waste of money, confirms MoD
16th August 2017 - 10.35 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Nigel Farage: The Movie' to chronicle former UKIP leader's epic quest to fully enter Donald Trump's colon
16th August 2017 - 9.51 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Red Skull just standing up for free speech, says HYDRA spokesman
16th August 2017 - 9.26 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
UK Brexit paper proposes 'magic' Irish border staffed by fairies
16th August 2017 - 9.11 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Donald Trump's Manufacturing Council now just him and man who outsourced his clothing line to China
15th August 2017 - 6.46 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Scottish baby boxes to come pre-filled with cans of Irn-Bru and Greggs steak slices
15th August 2017 - 5.52 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Child unhappy with aerodynamic properties of Daddy's shiny black frisbees
15th August 2017 - 5.31 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'No pun intended' man finally confesses that pun was deliberate
15th August 2017 - 1.08 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Kim Jong-Un boldly wets himself
15th August 2017 - 12.13 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Regulated rail fares to rise from 'Outrageous' to 'Exorbitant'
15th August 2017 - 11.32 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Man photographed enthusiastically waving flaming torch at a Nazi rally unhappy at people calling him a Nazi
15th August 2017 - 11.22 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Archmaester under fire after taking two days to denounce White Walkers
15th August 2017 - 10.57 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Primark actually pronounced ‘Child-labour-mark’
15th August 2017 - 10.36 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Everyone successfully forgotten about that Grenfell Tower business
15th August 2017 - 10.23 am
Source: News Thump