The Daily Mash   Humour

CONSERVATIVE MPs are plotting to replace Theresa May with someone who is just as cynical and nasty but not really bad at everything.   Go to full article
Published: 19th June 2017 - 10.03 am
Source: The Daily Mash



The Daily Mash
Humour
45-year-old man finally accepts that some people like rap music
17th August 2017 - 2.16 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Successful A-Level student to mention results every day for rest of life
17th August 2017 - 9.56 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
UK celebrates record number of shit jobs
17th August 2017 - 8.38 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Paul Dacre swinging Quasimodo-like from Big Ben
17th August 2017 - 8.54 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Trump to chew long piece of grass while holding shotgun across his shoulders
17th August 2017 - 9.25 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Cosplay not just fancy dress’ says man dressed as Chewbacca or maybe some kind of hairy elf
16th August 2017 - 12.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Everyone agrees to pretend dubstep didn’t happen
16th August 2017 - 12.40 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman giving herself pep talk in mirror accidentally summons Morrissey
16th August 2017 - 9.31 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How much money would it take for you to just f**k off? world asks Trump
16th August 2017 - 7.58 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Parents practising shocked expressions ahead of son’s shit A-level results
16th August 2017 - 8.46 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Cat judging owner for taking it out on lead
15th August 2017 - 11.36 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
White supremacists ‘commemorate the past’ by living with their parents
15th August 2017 - 10.07 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
DVD still not working despite being wiped on man’s trouser leg 

15th August 2017 - 11.12 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Davis trying to sneak old Ford Fiesta he can’t shift into Brexit deal 

15th August 2017 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Despotic lunatic forces women to become ‘maids’ and wear matching uniforms
15th August 2017 - 8.18 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Usual dicks making idiotic fuss over maintenance of large bell
15th August 2017 - 8.37 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Gluten-free brownies mostly compost
14th August 2017 - 1.17 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Passengers desperate to know backstory of bus drivers who didn’t wave to each other
14th August 2017 - 11.32 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Threatening nuclear war no longer the worst thing Trump has done this week
14th August 2017 - 10.19 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
I like people who shout ‘Hail Trump’, confirms Trump
14th August 2017 - 7.46 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Sharting’ to be renamed ‘Faraging’
14th August 2017 - 8.06 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Hunt uses same plumber who installed NHS IT system
14th August 2017 - 8.35 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Old guy who is always in pub still not saying hello
13th August 2017 - 10.55 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Pretentious couple convinced they are turning Scandinavian
12th August 2017 - 9.32 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Google returns no search results for ‘sexism’ and ‘tax’
12th August 2017 - 10.43 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Onion
Humour
Man Misidentified As Charlottesville Terrorist Suing Right-Wing News Sites
17th August 2017 - 10.18 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Worried Favorite Jedi Died After Seeing '€˜Obi-Wan Kenobi'€™ Trending
17th August 2017 - 9.50 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Inverted Bob Added To Supercuts Arctic Vault Where Hairstyles Preserved For Future Generations
17th August 2017 - 9.03 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Aides Say Bannon Was Not On The Record When He Issued Deafening, Atonal Howl That Caused Journalist'€™s Skull To Explode
17th August 2017 - 8.28 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Inspires Thousands Of Kids To Believe They Could One Day Grow Up To Be President Of Confederacy
17th August 2017 - 8.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Malala Can Tell Oxford Paired Her With Roommate Just Because They'€™re Both Nobel Laureates
17th August 2017 - 7.45 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Nation Rallies Around Ronald McDonald Statue That Embodies Country'€™s True Heritage
17th August 2017 - 7.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Girlfriend Surprises Rob Gronkowski With Relaxing Couple'€™s CAT Scan
17th August 2017 - 6.21 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Study Finds Expressing Anger In Unhealthy Ways Actually Incredibly Satisfying
17th August 2017 - 6.03 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump'€™s Childhood Home Listed On Airbnb
17th August 2017 - 2.59 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
In Final Machiavellian Masterstoke, Area Woman Adds '€˜No Gifts, Please'€™ To Bottom Of Invitation
17th August 2017 - 2.36 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Parent Now Just Typing 4-Year-Old Child'€™s Every Word Verbatim Throughout Day As Facebook Post
17th August 2017 - 10.01 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Disney Unveils Plans For '€˜Immersive'€™ Star Wars Hotel
16th August 2017 - 9.34 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Cat Who Seems A Little Grumpy Today Dying Of Esophageal Cancer
16th August 2017 - 7.55 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Panicked John Kelly Ushers Half-Naked Trump Away From Podium As President Shouts Support For Eugenics
16th August 2017 - 6.34 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
A Timeline Of Elvis Presley'€™s Life
16th August 2017 - 6.14 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Area Man Will Be Judge Of Whether Woman Actually True Baseball Fan
16th August 2017 - 5.32 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Larry Fitzgerald Confident He Has Couple Lousy Seasons That Undercut Entire Career Left In Him
16th August 2017 - 5.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Baltimore Pigeons Shocked To Find Beloved Shitting Statues Gone
16th August 2017 - 5.01 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Study Finds 1 In 8 Americans Abusing Alcohol
16th August 2017 - 3.28 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Local Grandmother Feared Dead After Appearing In Woman'€™s Profile Picture
16th August 2017 - 2.49 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Who Stood And Watched Robbery Acted On Pure Instinct
16th August 2017 - 2.40 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Blasts Critics Who Judge Neo-Nazi Groups By Most Extreme Members
15th August 2017 - 11.07 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Warns Removing Confederate Statues Could Be Slippery Slope To Eliminating Racism Entirely
15th August 2017 - 11.06 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump: '€˜There Is Hatred On Both Sides Of My Heart'€™
15th August 2017 - 10.50 pm
Source: The Onion
Cracked
Humour
Why The Wizard Of Oz Is Worse Than You Remember
16th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Famous Movie Villains Who Half-Assed Their Evil Schemes
17th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Filmmakers Who Secretly Ripped Off Their Own Work
17th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Most Important Things You Need To Know On Thursday 8/19
17th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Failed Sports That Were Clearly Created By Psychopaths
17th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why We Hope Disney's Streaming Service Fails
15th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Ways Hollywood's Freaking Awful At Predicting The Future
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Movie Genres Hollywood Now Just Plain Sucks At
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Incredibly Creepy Things That Hollywood Finds Romantic
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
I Am A Bee Detective. (Yes, That Is A Real Thing.)
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
School Offers $100 For Front Place In Lunch Line
14th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why Getting Hacked Is The Best Thing That's Happened To HBO
14th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why Time Travel Wouldn’t Work For Everyone
14th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Insanely Important Things We Never Make Movies About
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Famous Corpses That Ended Up In Totally Random Places
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Reasons Pokemon Gold Is Way Darker Than You Think
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Become A Hotshot Developer And Watch Your Money Tree Grow
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
We Could've Avoided Trump By Listening To George Washington
13th August 2017 - 1.06 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Drug Taste-Tester: 5 Totally Legal Jobs You Can Actually Get
14th August 2017 - 1.06 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Celebrities Whose Lives Got Ruined By Their Movies
14th August 2017 - 1.06 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
'Back To School' Guides Have Lost Their Freaking Minds
14th August 2017 - 1.06 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Donald Trump Has Proven The Existence Of The Multiverse
12th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
7 Tales Of Rock Star Sex And Debauchery (That Are Pure WTF)
13th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Rob Lowe Survived Bigfoot: 6 Celebs Who- Wait, WHAT?
13th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Weirdly Specific Things Movies Thinks People In Bathrooms
13th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
News Thump
Humour
Littlehampton branch of Wimpy misses out on Good Food Guide restaurant of the year yet again
17th August 2017 - 6.07 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Saving Private Ryan branded 'alt-left propaganda'
17th August 2017 - 5.27 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Staunch egalitarian Sarah Champion distances herself from notorious race-baiter Sarah Champion
17th August 2017 - 12.00 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Daily Mail celebrates 'Barely legal sexy girls getting exam results' day
17th August 2017 - 9.26 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Walnut Whips to be renamed Brexit Whips
16th August 2017 - 6.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
James Bond to make a return to "deal with all this shit"
16th August 2017 - 6.02 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
You need to spend £44k on a decent washroom when you have this much blood on your hands, claims Jeremy Hunt
16th August 2017 - 5.58 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
You can't put a price on sovereignty, say people who won't live long enough to pay for it
16th August 2017 - 3.17 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Co-worker inexplicably thinks you're interested in hearing about their commute
16th August 2017 - 1.31 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Watch Morecambe and Wise until you calm down' planet told
16th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Donald Trump says Rebel Alliance must also take blame for violence as Death Star had all the required permits
16th August 2017 - 11.54 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Aircraft carriers named after Royal Family because they're a huge waste of money, confirms MoD
16th August 2017 - 10.35 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Nigel Farage: The Movie' to chronicle former UKIP leader's epic quest to fully enter Donald Trump's colon
16th August 2017 - 9.51 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Red Skull just standing up for free speech, says HYDRA spokesman
16th August 2017 - 9.26 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
UK Brexit paper proposes 'magic' Irish border staffed by fairies
16th August 2017 - 9.11 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Donald Trump's Manufacturing Council now just him and man who outsourced his clothing line to China
15th August 2017 - 6.46 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Scottish baby boxes to come pre-filled with cans of Irn-Bru and Greggs steak slices
15th August 2017 - 5.52 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Child unhappy with aerodynamic properties of Daddy's shiny black frisbees
15th August 2017 - 5.31 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'No pun intended' man finally confesses that pun was deliberate
15th August 2017 - 1.08 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Kim Jong-Un boldly wets himself
15th August 2017 - 12.13 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Regulated rail fares to rise from 'Outrageous' to 'Exorbitant'
15th August 2017 - 11.32 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Man photographed enthusiastically waving flaming torch at a Nazi rally unhappy at people calling him a Nazi
15th August 2017 - 11.22 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Archmaester under fire after taking two days to denounce White Walkers
15th August 2017 - 10.57 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Primark actually pronounced ‘Child-labour-mark’
15th August 2017 - 10.36 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Everyone successfully forgotten about that Grenfell Tower business
15th August 2017 - 10.23 am
Source: News Thump