The Daily Mash
Humour
School gate mums so competitive about children’s achievements, says only mum doing it
24th March 2017 - 9.01 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Pensions now worth enough for one big bender
24th March 2017 - 9.17 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Daily Mail scurrying about like a horrid little spider
24th March 2017 - 9.51 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Lucky bastard schoolkid has art, drama and then history today
23rd March 2017 - 10.34 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman attempting to guess which person in Facebook photo she is friends with
23rd March 2017 - 11.16 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
London in grip of normality
23rd March 2017 - 8.50 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
First class on regional trains not like Orient Express, man discovers
23rd March 2017 - 9.56 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Ask Holly: Love Actually represents everything wrong with popular culture
23rd March 2017 - 10.08 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Google introduces ‘You should probably just break up’ alert
22nd March 2017 - 10.37 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
But this is a MacBook, says air passenger
22nd March 2017 - 11.24 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Man who claims to be European getting on everyone’s tits
22nd March 2017 - 8.35 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Spring vastly overrated
22nd March 2017 - 8.57 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Irishman praying colleagues stop talking about Ireland
22nd March 2017 - 9.35 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Rising inflation explained as ‘the 70s’
22nd March 2017 - 10.10 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman makes three new friends every time she visits a toilet
21st March 2017 - 11.24 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Brexiter still a loser in the more general sense
21st March 2017 - 8.48 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Apple denies all knowledge of Apple Watch
21st March 2017 - 9.04 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Sesame Street introduces first paranoid right-wing character
21st March 2017 - 9.38 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Jubilant Brexiters shitting themselves
21st March 2017 - 10.19 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman flaunts body by existing
20th March 2017 - 10.47 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Londoner helplessly lost in unfamiliar part of London
20th March 2017 - 11.21 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Dad forced to admit decking looks shit
20th March 2017 - 11.48 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
80s Neighbours fan regularly watched same episode twice in a day
20th March 2017 - 8.53 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Dyson invents poncey new wheel
20th March 2017 - 9.07 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Daily Express reader surprised no one else has thought of nuking Scotland
20th March 2017 - 9.38 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Onion
Humour
Military Aides Try To Cheer Up Kim Jong-Un After Failed Missile Launch By Putting On Surprise Execution
23rd March 2017 - 7.18 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Hundreds Of Blind, Pallid Disney Characters Discovered Living In Caves Deep Within Space Mountain
23rd March 2017 - 7.05 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Islam: Myth Vs. Fact
23rd March 2017 - 6.00 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Yellowstone Places Old Faithful On 6-Month Loan To Acadia National Park
23rd March 2017 - 5.44 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
'€˜Yes, But How Did He Die?'€™ Ghoulish American Public Asks Of Recent Celebrity Death While Rubbing Delicate, Bony Hands Together And Smiling Thinly
23rd March 2017 - 5.48 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
'€˜Capital One Is A Terrible Bank,'€™ Says Charles Barkley In New Capital One Commercial
23rd March 2017 - 5.50 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Sesame Street Introduces Autistic Character
23rd March 2017 - 5.38 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: Anxiety Disorders Induced By Trump Presidency Not Covered Under GOP Health Bill
23rd March 2017 - 5.31 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Sets Unsustainable Precedent Of Saying Hello To Coworker Every Morning
22nd March 2017 - 8.15 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Study Finds Average American Hopes No One Saw That 12 Times Per Day
22nd March 2017 - 6.36 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Sessions Rattles Baton Along Prison Bars In Speech Vowing To Crack Down On Violent Crime
22nd March 2017 - 6.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Players To Watch In The Sweet 16
22nd March 2017 - 5.52 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy
22nd March 2017 - 4.40 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Honey Nut Cheerios Pulls Bee Mascot
22nd March 2017 - 3.50 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
How To Find The Right Therapist
22nd March 2017 - 3.39 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Woman Devises Latest Delusional Scheme For Burning Extra Calories During Workday
22nd March 2017 - 3.23 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Study Finds 73% Of Marble Statuettes Of Achilles Used To Beat To Death Wealthy Dowager
22nd March 2017 - 3.11 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Styrofoam Coffee Cup From Omaha Excited To Finally See Pacific Ocean
22nd March 2017 - 2.44 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Expecting Ninth Grandchild
21st March 2017 - 8.10 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
FBI Calls For Increased Surveillance Powers To Keep Pace With Evolving Threat Of Presidential Administrations
21st March 2017 - 7.09 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now
21st March 2017 - 4.50 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Johnnie B. Dead
21st March 2017 - 4.12 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Your Horoscopes '€” Week Of March 21, 2017
21st March 2017 - 3.07 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Norway Ranked Happiest Nation On Earth
21st March 2017 - 2.44 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
New Evidence Reveals Christ Lounged In Tomb For Extra Hour Before Finally Rising From Grave
21st March 2017 - 2.51 pm
Source: The Onion
Cracked
Humour
6 Personal Secrets Filmmakers Hid In Famous Movies
16th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
4 Public Safety Scares With Hilarious Punch Lines
16th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Most Important Things You Need To Know On Thursday 2/16
16th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
So You've Effed Up Your Life, Here's How To Fix It
16th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Hey, Harrison Ford, About These Planes...
16th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
15 Characters Who Missed The Point Of Their Own Franchise
16th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Too Much Too Soon? A Critique Of The Trump Show
16th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Detroiters: The Madmen of Detroit Public Access
14th February 2017 - 4.28 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Insane Historical Theories That Make Way Too Much Sense
15th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 WTF Mass Panics You Never Learned About In History Class
15th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Dumb Things You Will Do When You Buy A Professional Camera
15th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Stupidity Of That Motivation Video People Keep Sharing
15th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Skeeviest Things I Saw Working At An Adult Movie Theater
15th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
22 Tips That Will Keep You Safe In The Modern World
15th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why Speed Dating Is Terrible
15th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/14/17)
14th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
How Dumbass Memes Turned Into Modern Propaganda
14th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Ridiculous (But Wonderful) Ways Movies Used To Be Promoted
14th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
12 Bad Valentine Cards For The Political News Junkie
14th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Long-Term BDSM Relationships: What 50 Shades Darker Ignores
14th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Most Blatant Lies Brands Put In Ads
14th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Sheer Madness That Was The Star Wars Horror Book Series
11th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Times The Studio Actually Knew What Was Best For The Movie
11th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
9 Hard Truths Trump Wishes He Knew Before Becoming President
11th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Bizarre World Of The Pro Anorexia Internet Community
11th February 2017 - 4.00 am
Source: Cracked
News Thump
Humour
Government salutes the bravery of the people whose funding they've just cut
24th March 2017 - 11.13 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
FBI investigations only bad when they're looking into someone else, insist Trump supporters
24th March 2017 - 10.13 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
London terror alert raised to 'severe' after man tries to start conversation on the Tube
24th March 2017 - 9.26 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Clean up my filthy excrement foolish human' laughs tiny despotic dog
24th March 2017 - 9.05 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'University of Life' churns out another graduating class chock-full of cyber-bigots
23rd March 2017 - 3.49 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
NewsThump's 'Do the Muslims!' spam filter breaks down through overuse
23rd March 2017 - 1.11 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Terrorists told that the only way to make Londoners shit themselves is to open a dodgy kebab shop
23rd March 2017 - 9.26 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Terrorists outraged by calm and reasonable response
23rd March 2017 - 9.04 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Concern among Trevors that all Trevors will be blamed after Channel 4 claim London attacker was a Trevor
23rd March 2017 - 8.29 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Londoners show defiance by remaining unfriendly and quite impatient
23rd March 2017 - 8.23 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Conspiracy theorist decides not to wait for any bodies to get cold
22nd March 2017 - 3.46 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
UKIP fury as Ryanair impose ban on crayons and colouring books
22nd March 2017 - 12.42 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
ISIS facing civil war over choice of Apple or Microsoft laptops
22nd March 2017 - 12.12 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Brexit likely to widen pay gap' Theresa May assures CEOs
22nd March 2017 - 11.42 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
MPs accuse CBeebies of pro-EU propaganda
22nd March 2017 - 10.35 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Vladimir Putin to be given his own office in White House
22nd March 2017 - 9.34 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Rising inflation due to Brexit means there could eventually be £400 million a week for NHS
22nd March 2017 - 9.19 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Britain to seek post-Brexit trade deal with Skull Island
22nd March 2017 - 9.05 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
EU announces summit to invent new insulting terms for the British
21st March 2017 - 6.18 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Widespread rioting after Waitrose announces end of free coffee offer
21st March 2017 - 1.41 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Herbal tea not a proper drink, say experts
21st March 2017 - 12.34 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Insurance companies restrict Richard Hammond to riding 'nothing faster than a space hopper'
21st March 2017 - 10.35 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Nigel Farage demands his face be projected onto the White Cliffs of Dover
21st March 2017 - 10.12 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Trump is a true gentleman because he didn’t instinctively grab my genitals, claims Theresa May
21st March 2017 - 8.23 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Extremists threaten to quit YouTube after finding their videos shown alongside ads for Daily Mail
20th March 2017 - 4.36 pm
Source: News Thump