The Daily Mash
Humour
So-called ‘child genius’ doesn’t even know what ‘chinny reckon’ means
19th August 2017 - 9.14 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Hawking discovers new super-dense black hole
19th August 2017 - 9.45 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Science fiction series set in parallel world where Trump is a good human being
18th August 2017 - 9.51 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Girls whispering about you
18th August 2017 - 10.33 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Bastard cat refusing to do that cute thing he does
18th August 2017 - 7.46 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Primark ‘must never be said aloud’
18th August 2017 - 8.17 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
No one sure how to tell couple all their baby names are ridiculous
18th August 2017 - 9.04 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
45-year-old man finally accepts that some people like rap music
17th August 2017 - 2.16 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Successful A-Level student to mention results every day for rest of life
17th August 2017 - 9.56 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
UK celebrates record number of shit jobs
17th August 2017 - 8.38 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Paul Dacre swinging Quasimodo-like from Big Ben
17th August 2017 - 8.54 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Trump to chew long piece of grass while holding shotgun across his shoulders
17th August 2017 - 9.25 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
‘Cosplay not just fancy dress’ says man dressed as Chewbacca or maybe some kind of hairy elf
16th August 2017 - 12.20 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Everyone agrees to pretend dubstep didn’t happen
16th August 2017 - 12.40 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Woman giving herself pep talk in mirror accidentally summons Morrissey
16th August 2017 - 9.31 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
How much money would it take for you to just f**k off? world asks Trump
16th August 2017 - 7.58 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Parents practising shocked expressions ahead of son’s shit A-level results
16th August 2017 - 8.46 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Cat judging owner for taking it out on lead
15th August 2017 - 11.36 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
White supremacists ‘commemorate the past’ by living with their parents
15th August 2017 - 10.07 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
DVD still not working despite being wiped on man’s trouser leg 

15th August 2017 - 11.12 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Davis trying to sneak old Ford Fiesta he can’t shift into Brexit deal 

15th August 2017 - 8.00 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Despotic lunatic forces women to become ‘maids’ and wear matching uniforms
15th August 2017 - 8.18 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Usual dicks making idiotic fuss over maintenance of large bell
15th August 2017 - 8.37 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Gluten-free brownies mostly compost
14th August 2017 - 1.17 pm
Source: The Daily Mash
The Daily Mash
Humour
Passengers desperate to know backstory of bus drivers who didn’t wave to each other
14th August 2017 - 11.32 am
Source: The Daily Mash
The Onion
Humour
NASCAR Adds Gravel Warning Track To Alert Drivers Of Wall
19th August 2017 - 5.55 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: There Just Something Dark And Intriguing About Man With Serious Personality Disorder
19th August 2017 - 11.00 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
SeaWorld Dynamites Orca That Beached Itself On Concrete Walkway
19th August 2017 - 11.00 am
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
European Leaders: '€˜We Stand Together To Say Loud And Clear: We Are Scared As Fuck And Don'€™t Know What To Do'€™
18th August 2017 - 9.42 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Fleas Carrying Bubonic Plague Found In Arizona
18th August 2017 - 8.56 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film
18th August 2017 - 7.04 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Spanish Authorities Ask Anyone With Information About Curbing Endless Cycle Of Nihilistic Violence To Come Forward
18th August 2017 - 6.43 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
'€˜My Work Here Is Done,'€™ Smiles Contented Bannon Before Bursting Into Millions Of Spores
18th August 2017 - 6.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
The Onion Remembers Steve Bannon, Trump'€™s Most Encrusted Advisor
18th August 2017 - 5.13 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Nation Begs Disaffected Youth Gravitating Toward Neo-Nazism To Get High And Play Xbox Instead
18th August 2017 - 3.44 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Top 10 College Preseason Football Teams
18th August 2017 - 12.53 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Costco Forced To Pay $19 Million For Selling Fake Tiffany Rings
18th August 2017 - 12.45 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious
18th August 2017 - 12.27 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Forced To Pathetically Comb Through Movie For Familiar Scene After Falling Asleep Previous Night
18th August 2017 - 12.29 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Report: 97% Of Inner Tube Occupants Agree It Doesn'€™t Get Any Better Than This
18th August 2017 - 12.32 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Misidentified As Charlottesville Terrorist Suing Right-Wing News Sites
17th August 2017 - 10.18 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Man Worried Favorite Jedi Died After Seeing '€˜Obi-Wan Kenobi'€™ Trending
17th August 2017 - 9.50 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Inverted Bob Added To Supercuts Arctic Vault Where Hairstyles Preserved For Future Generations
17th August 2017 - 9.03 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Aides Say Bannon Was Not On The Record When He Issued Deafening, Atonal Howl That Caused Journalist'€™s Skull To Explode
17th August 2017 - 8.28 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump Inspires Thousands Of Kids To Believe They Could One Day Grow Up To Be President Of Confederacy
17th August 2017 - 8.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Malala Can Tell Oxford Paired Her With Roommate Just Because They'€™re Both Nobel Laureates
17th August 2017 - 7.45 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Nation Rallies Around Ronald McDonald Statue That Embodies Country'€™s True Heritage
17th August 2017 - 7.22 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Girlfriend Surprises Rob Gronkowski With Relaxing Couple'€™s CAT Scan
17th August 2017 - 6.21 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Study Finds Expressing Anger In Unhealthy Ways Actually Incredibly Satisfying
17th August 2017 - 6.03 pm
Source: The Onion
The Onion
Humour
Trump'€™s Childhood Home Listed On Airbnb
17th August 2017 - 2.59 pm
Source: The Onion
Cracked
Humour
How Video Games Are Becoming Movies
18th August 2017 - 1.00 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
I Heard A Lot Of Crazy Things About North Korea (So I Went)
19th August 2017 - 1.00 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
4 Game Of Thrones Characters Who Really Dropped The Ball
19th August 2017 - 1.00 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Here's What Life Is Actually Like With A Colostomy Bag
19th August 2017 - 1.00 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why Hasn't There Been a Rebellion In King's Landing Yet?
17th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Crazy Underreported Details From The Trump/Russia Sh!tshow
18th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Petty Quirks That Become Relationship Killers Over Time
18th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why Hate Doesn't Have To Win
18th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Take Your Education Higher Than Ever With These 5 Buys
18th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
42 Better Recaps Of Famous Movies
18th August 2017 - 1.03 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why The Wizard Of Oz Is Worse Than You Remember
16th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Famous Movie Villains Who Half-Assed Their Evil Schemes
17th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Filmmakers Who Secretly Ripped Off Their Own Work
17th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
The Most Important Things You Need To Know On Thursday 8/19
17th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Failed Sports That Were Clearly Created By Psychopaths
17th August 2017 - 1.13 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why We Hope Disney's Streaming Service Fails
15th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Ways Hollywood's Freaking Awful At Predicting The Future
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
6 Movie Genres Hollywood Now Just Plain Sucks At
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Incredibly Creepy Things That Hollywood Finds Romantic
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
I Am A Bee Detective. (Yes, That Is A Real Thing.)
16th August 2017 - 1.15 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
School Offers $100 For Front Place In Lunch Line
14th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why Getting Hacked Is The Best Thing That's Happened To HBO
14th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
Why Time Travel Wouldn’t Work For Everyone
14th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Insanely Important Things We Never Make Movies About
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
Cracked
Humour
5 Famous Corpses That Ended Up In Totally Random Places
15th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: Cracked
News Thump
Humour
Steve Bannon to spend time focusing on life-long quest to suck his own cock
19th August 2017 - 7.39 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
We don't listen to people in wheelchairs, Tories tell Stephen Hawking
19th August 2017 - 7.34 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Half-full garbage bag on Steve Bannon's desk actually Steve Bannon
18th August 2017 - 7.00 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
"Didn't he do well?" says everybody
18th August 2017 - 5.00 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Please only refer to the Barcelona terrorists as 'shrivelled-dicked bastards', press told
18th August 2017 - 1.37 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
BBC Newsnight provides glimpse of a Trumpian Britain by allowing fictional rabid bigot to host
18th August 2017 - 11.15 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Study what Grand Moff Tarkin did to Alderaan, no more radical rebel alliance for 35 years' tweets Donald Trump
18th August 2017 - 10.34 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
LinkedIn now 100% dickhead
18th August 2017 - 10.01 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Littlehampton branch of Wimpy misses out on Good Food Guide restaurant of the year yet again
17th August 2017 - 6.07 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Saving Private Ryan branded 'alt-left propaganda'
17th August 2017 - 5.27 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Staunch egalitarian Sarah Champion distances herself from notorious race-baiter Sarah Champion
17th August 2017 - 12.00 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Daily Mail celebrates 'Barely legal sexy girls getting exam results' day
17th August 2017 - 9.26 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Walnut Whips to be renamed Brexit Whips
16th August 2017 - 6.23 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
James Bond to make a return to "deal with all this shit"
16th August 2017 - 6.02 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
You need to spend £44k on a decent washroom when you have this much blood on your hands, claims Jeremy Hunt
16th August 2017 - 5.58 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
You can't put a price on sovereignty, say people who won't live long enough to pay for it
16th August 2017 - 3.17 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Co-worker inexplicably thinks you're interested in hearing about their commute
16th August 2017 - 1.31 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Watch Morecambe and Wise until you calm down' planet told
16th August 2017 - 1.05 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Donald Trump says Rebel Alliance must also take blame for violence as Death Star had all the required permits
16th August 2017 - 11.54 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Aircraft carriers named after Royal Family because they're a huge waste of money, confirms MoD
16th August 2017 - 10.35 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
'Nigel Farage: The Movie' to chronicle former UKIP leader's epic quest to fully enter Donald Trump's colon
16th August 2017 - 9.51 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Red Skull just standing up for free speech, says HYDRA spokesman
16th August 2017 - 9.26 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
UK Brexit paper proposes 'magic' Irish border staffed by fairies
16th August 2017 - 9.11 am
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Donald Trump's Manufacturing Council now just him and man who outsourced his clothing line to China
15th August 2017 - 6.46 pm
Source: News Thump
News Thump
Humour
Scottish baby boxes to come pre-filled with cans of Irn-Bru and Greggs steak slices
15th August 2017 - 5.52 pm
Source: News Thump